tune.melody.harmony

formspring.me

2011-06-27T18:31:00.001+08:00

Anything goes , Even Bitches And Guys Who Wants To Be a Bitch Are Invited . http://formspring.me/EisyaKurtz

formspring.me

2011-05-28T06:34:00.001+08:00

Anything goes , Even Bitches And Guys Who Wants To Be a Bitch Are Invited . http://formspring.me/EisyaKurtz

2011-05-12T12:28:00.000+08:00

Wanna Knoe What I Hate More Then Bitches Stealing People's Boyfriend ?

I hate Guys With NO freaking Balls .

Please , Why Doncha' Ask your Girlfriend to Kiss My Fucking Plastic Doll's Ass . YES .

Im Freakingly PISSED OFF WITH YOU . and your girlfriend .

yes . I am . SO am . Yes .

If You WANT me OUT of YOUR FUCKING PATHETIC life ,

WHY DONT YOUR GIRLFRIEND SMS ME HER FUCKING SELF RATHER THEN YOU USE A CHEAP TACTIC ?

CHEAPOOOO . I wasnt DESPERATE for YOUR attention . I was FINE on my OWN , But YOU decide to COME and SAY LETS BE FRIENDS .

Do Friends Do This ? You Betrayed Me .

Fuck Your Life Until It Ain't WORTH fucking anymore . CCB .

I wanna FIND your Girlfriend . HONEST .

Im makin It KNOWN , she can run first ^^ Kau pikir Aku adik adik korang ? Boleh Buat bahan ketawe ? HAHAH ! Now I know WHY I left You . YOU NEVER HAD TH BALLS . OMG !

Yes , I dont deny th fact , Im mean . VERY mean when I wanna . Its Cause Of PEOPLE like You and HER

Because No Matter HOW NICE I am , It USUALLY Means People will Step OVER my head .

FUCK . FUCKITY FUCK . I wanna Bash Yer FACE sia ! As If Its Not UGLY enough

Enjoyed Making A Laugh Out Of Me ? REVENGE ? OH GOD , YOU dont FUCKING know WHAT REVENGE is .

You told me to trust people . to let them into my life .

I did .

and you were th one who broke it . broke me .

you , I Hate You . SO much . WHY do I let you in my life again ? Why did I love You again ? Why Did I Wish We were together again ? Why ?

For th first time , I Made myself Throw my guilty Conscience and SMSed you when you need . And all I asked for th same thing . And you did This . You and Your girlfriend are INHUMANE . Fucking INHUMANE .

You made me into A fool I never Was for anyone Else . I regret knowing you . Regretted Loving You . Regretted Waited For You . Regret .

One Quote Of Advice ; " Karma Always Goes Around , One Day It Will Be Your Turn "

MUSIBAT Keanggonan .

thank you and die :)

Eisya Kurtz .

Tomorrow school starts ! READYYY ?

2011-03-20T09:18:00.001+08:00

Tomorrow school starts ! READYYY ?

Answer here

2011-03-10T00:05:00.000+08:00

Okay , So here's Th Deal .

   Im Content at Life But Its Gonna Sound VERY Strange . Here It Is :
   Everything Is Fine And Dandy . Sure , I Had Things Made Up With Jaz , And Yes , It Went Wrong Again . Purely Not My Fault . Dont Fucking Blame ME Kayy ? Anyways , I Was Th One Crying Over Him For Th Last 9 Months And Not Th Other Way Round . But After I Realized What A DICK He Are , I Guess , Im More Than Happy To Let Him Go .
   And There's This Hollow Feeling Inside Of Me . Empty . Like . Empty .
Then , I Had My Pay . As You All Know , My Reason For Working Is To Pay My Nlevels Fee . So , My Deadline , Beeline Is This Month . Guess What ? N Levels Fee Is $290 , My Pay Is , $290 . Swee Huh ?
Now How ON Hell Am I Gonna Survive MARCH . Ironically , This Month Is Supposed To Be My Lucky Month , Being It is My BIRTH MONTH . Haiish . Cb Tak ?
   And There's This Bochiap Feeling There , In My Heart , Like ... GAAAH .
Idk , Ive Been Feeling So Empty , Hollow & Like , It Don't Matter Anymore . Shit Not ? I Knoe . Like , When Someone is Doin Something Wrong Infront Of Me , Ill Go , " OK , Not My Prob Anyways " And Turn away . Like , I was not like that before . But what th hell . I think everyone likes me like this , I guess.
And I Also Think I Should Talk Less . I think I Should . I Should . I would , I want , I NEED .
Hehs . OK !

She Is Just Sad . Thats All .

2011-02-24T10:16:00.003+08:00

Dear My Rhymes-Ruiner-That-Actually-Made-Th-Day-Rain ,

I dont knoe why but you are th first Guy that could make me forget about My Pain Fer Jaz fer abit . And We Actually Even Had A Talk About My PERSONAL Problems . You're Th Guy Who was Curious about my family and stuff . Usually , Guys Just HECK Care . ( Well , Except Fer Haziq )
Felt so Comfortable talking ta ya . Fun and th way you talk is VERY different . Thank you fer th outing . I dont knoe why you suddenly stop with th sms and stuff , Maybe cause I am Irritating ? But Hey . I Dont Mind . I dont want to disturb you anyways . Just knoe that you made a change ta my Brain . You made me
think , Why Am I Still Stuck On Jaz , When I Can Find A Replacement ? Hahah ! Too Bad Fer Me Though You Dont Find Me At All Interesting Huh ? Haha ! I dont mind . I am Used to this kind of treatment already anyway . Sometimes I dont knoe what wrong i did , Cause No one did tell me . did I talk too much ? Or something ? Or Is It Because Of My Looks ? I Dont Get It ? :)

ah well . take care ! Have Fun With Th Next Girl . :) You ROCK !
ROCK ON !
Eisya Kurtz . !

So , Life Moves On .
Dear Kitties ,

I guess Th reasons Why I Am Sad Is Cause I Feel Empty . Have You Ever Felt Empty Before ?
So Heres Th Thing : Imma Turn Into A Bad Girl . Hehehe ! I feel SO Excited Saying This .
Oh No Worries , I Wont Start Having Casual Sex And All , Ill Just Try Out Clubs And Stuff .
YES ! I am Goin To Azzure ( How Do You Spell That ? ) Beach Party ! YESYESYES !
Imma Start Dancing Again ! Heheh ! Hope No Rave Though . I Want Raggae ! RAGGAETON !
Heheh ! I Won't Drink Though . Hahaha ! I Wanna Break RULES and LIVE FER LIFE !
Yes , Lames . :]

I Dont Care About It . Heartbreaks Are Like Unevitable . I Cant Avoid It Now Can I ?
People Come And Go In Life . I Guess Jazli And Him Are Like Goers .
It Hurts But I won't Care .

I am Angry Now . I Cant Just Leave Everything . But I am leabving . For Once I Wanna Be irresponsible Of My Principles . I Don't Care Of Other Peoples Feelings . Not To an Extend That I Hurt Them , But To an Extend That , Ill Just Do things MY way . My way or No Way . Like I care What People Think Anyways .

I Dont Mind Starting Again .
I Failed Family 3 Years Ago , I started Again With My Family .
I Failed My Love 8 Months Ago , I tried To Start Again , Failed , But Im Starting Again .
Im feeling good writing this ! Oh Gosh ! Hehehe !

I Wanna Start ALL Over . I wanna Give Myself Chance . I forgive Myself fer th mistakes Ive done .
Oh !

Heheh !

So Lets Just Plan My Change Alright ?
Since Im 17 this Year , Lets Be Abit Fun !

1) Be More Fun And Stop Whining About Sins And Stuff , Lets Just Get On With It .
- Forget About Miss Potty Mouth That Ma M Told ME I Should Not Be , Guess What ? I dont Care Anymore ! ( JOKE! , Of course I wont say out peoples anatomy . OR Sexual Stuff )

2) PARTY ! I realised what a dumbtwat I Was . !
- I wanna WIDEN my HORIZONS and PARTY . I wanna Have Fun ! But With LIMITS .
(Lets Just Dont Over Do It ) I wont drink drug or sex with people i dont knoe . I MEAN , i wont do it at all . No drinks , no drugs , no sex . BUT ILL DANCE TO MY HEART DESIRE ! YESSSS !

3) Meet MORE people .
Yes ! Enough Of Being SHY , Lets Just MEET HUMANS !
YES ! LETS !

4) PASS MY EXAMS FOR DUMB SAKE .
-No need to explain this now do i ?

5) Okay lets stop .

Heheh !

Eisya Kurts , Always A Daddy'sGerl . <3

Th Lady Herself Gets Uptight .

2011-02-21T23:39:00.000+08:00

So , Yeah . Life Has Been Ups And Downs .

I Have Many Things To Think About ,

Family ,

Studies ,

Friends ,

Money ,

Work ,

Priorities ,

Love ( well , not so much )

And

Emotional .

Family : I Just Dont Knoe What To Do ? Everything Is Goin FREAKING haywire .

Ma Ask Me Ta Go Back Jurong , Ibu Dont Want Me To Go . And I ? I Dont Knoe .

I miss Mamad ALOT , At Th Point That Im In Obsession .

But I Still Cant Stand My Step Daddy's Family .

What To Do ?

Do I Look Like I Knoe ?

Studies : Main Point , Dont Freaking Look Down ON Me . Just Cause I Retain . Atleast I dont Give Up . Have You Ever Tried Again And Again To Pursue Yer Dream ? Have You Ever Fall so Hard and You Pick Up Th courage To Pick yerself Back Up Again ? If You Don't , SHUT UP . If You Have , Th More Reasons You Should Shut Up . Seriously ? Cause If You Think You Look More Cooler Degrading Humans , Then Dude , You Should Get Yourself Check . Thanks And Buzz Off .

Friends : I Don't Knoe what ta say . I love them Alot . really I do . :)

Money : I need To collect $290 Fer My Nlevels , In Other Words , Im Very Much Penniless Fer Next Month . No Pocket Money . Thank You VERY MUCH SINGAPORE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM ! ehem . okay .

Work : I Dont Wanna Work Anymore . I Dont Like Guys Who Always touch Girls . Pervertics Gundhu ! Sheesh . :(

Priorities : I Seriously Jumbled Up My Priorities . HAHAH ! . EVERYTHING JUMBLED AROUND .

Love : OhGod . Im Like A Old Aunty Now .

I Like Someone , But They Dont Like Me , But Another Guy Would Be Interested In Me , When Im Still Liking Th Guy .

I Feel Like Fishing , :)

Emotional : I Think Im Gonna Break Down Soon .

Sheesh . Sad Lah Life . :D

Eisya Kurts (Daddy'sGerl)

LoveLoveLove .

Well , Whats yer Impression Of me ?

2011-02-15T00:12:00.001+08:00

Well , Whats yer Impression Of me ?

Answer here

BreakEven

2010-12-24T21:13:00.000+08:00

Well Kitties ,
I Failed My Nlevels . Good Huh ? What Ta Do . Smart Move , Never Study Maths Properly , So Because Of Maths I Failed Nlevels .
CCCCHHHIIIIBBBBAAAIIIII right ?

Hahah Nevermind , Seriously NO Mooooood To Post About Nlevels Results . Sheeesh !

Eisya Kurtz :)

My Quotes .

2010-12-15T22:49:00.000+08:00

It Ends Tonight .

2010-12-14T02:09:00.000+08:00

When ,

Life Throws you A Punch . Throw Life A Kick .

Im really At a point Where Smiling is th only Option I Have .
Accepting And Just Giving and Just SMILE .
At a point where I Feel Likka Idiot . Cause , All I wanna Do Is Cry And Cry And Just Cry .
But I Can't . And I Won't Cause I Dont Like Doin That , Its Pulls Me Down . Down .

But Sometimes I Do Question My Own Sanity .Why Am I Feeling Lonely Almost Everytime ? Why Is My Family Splattered ?

Just Wanted to Take Away Th pain . Take Away Th Hurt . Take Away Everything . Cause I Don't Wanna Wallow In Self Pity And Make My Friends Worry . But I know , By Not telling Them That I Feel Likka Shit , They Would think Its Their Fault When Its Not . Thats Why Im Writting This Post .

I don't want to see you when Im in a Pathetic State .
Its embarrassing really .

Cause I am Always Flambouyant About How Im Improving .
When Actually I Wanna Eat Ice Cream Chocolate And Cry .
Cause I am Th One Who Gives Advices , yet Im Not Taking One Myself .
Cause I am Th One Who told You guys , Whatever It Is , You havta Respect amd Love you mother , When I Didnt contact My Own .
Im just A person who dont take my own advice .
I need to straighten that out . Doncha Think ?

Heh . Well . Atleast I Don't Burst Out In Tears , Whoosh Mygosh .
Atleast Im Smiling , Though My Sense Of Smsing And Writing Are Left to Be Desired . Plus , Im getting More Sensitive . But Im Okayy .

Im okayy .
Reaaalllyyy Okayy .

:)

Well , I dont wanna Pretend anymore . Who Can Take Away My Tears ?

Me ? But , I hurt Myself More then Help Myself . :)

Yes , Imma Do this .
Im Keeping It Strong . Ill Stil Smile . Smile and Laugh .
I wanna do That . :)

My Dream Is To Make a Difference .

So I won't Give Up .

I will Be A Nurse And Go All Over Th World To Help .

I will Find Someone Who Truly Cares .

Someone Who I Can Learn About .

His Past ,

His Future ,

His Life .

His Dreams .

One Day , I will Achieve My Small Dream .

Cause I knoe I Can , Frankly , No One Can Stop Me .

♥Esya Kurtz .

"Imma Daddy's Girl ."

Baby Blue Fer Th Soft Colours Of Th Sky .

2010-12-07T22:48:00.001+08:00

Wear That Uniform Back Next Year .
This Post . I Dunno If You Ever Gonna Read It . Just Hope You Will .

Ive Been Asking Myself , Why Everytime If There Is Quarrels , Its Me And You ?
Is It Me ? Or You ? Or We Just Cant Get Along With Each Other ?

I wanna Make Something Clear Though Rara .

I wished THAT day , I didnt Use My Phone Number To Sms You . Maybe You Wouldnt Hate Me , And We Wouldnt fight , Again .

Isnt Ironic Of How Much Fun We Can Share , how Much Feelings We Put In Our Friendship , But In Th End , Its You And Me Quarrelling . Is There Something Wrong With Us ? Or Maybe , Th Habits Wont Die ?

Cause , We were Never Close . We used To Quarrel , RIGHT from Secondary One . We ALWAYS Have Something To Misunderstand . And Your Attitude Of Just Heck Care Always Give People Th Impression That , I Wanna Win , Until You , Yourself Believe That I wanna Win .

If you knew Me . If We Were Close . You Would Know , Winning . It Wasnt My Best Aspect . Never Was . But I ALWAYS want My point To get to you CLEAR . And You , Like To Just Dismiss Things . I cannot stand that , So , I always Repeatedly Say Things Just SO you would Understand . But you just wouldnt . Or maybe you just Dont Understand ?

Im not sure . But , Even With "people " By My Side , As You Put It . Even When Things Are Goin Smoothly , Why Must I think About how you're Feeling ? Why Must I Feel Like , I Must Call You To Ask You How Are You ? Why Must I ?

Constantly Debating Whether I Should Call Or not , And Usually I Convince Myself Not To .
Cause I Felt Th Hurt When Everything Seems To Revolves Around Other People . When Me And Sasa Kept Asking You Out And You Kept Saying You Were Busy But You Just Seems To Have Th Time Fer Other People . Maybe You Didnt Realize It ? It Wasnt Just Recently Ra , It Was Accumulated .
We Felt this So Long ago , But we just kept quiet Cause We dont wanna pressure you out . But It Got outta hand , So this happened .

I wonder . What . What Is There Between Our Friendship That Me and You Just Cannot Click .

You knoe , I miss you too ?

I hate That Im soft Hearted . Hate That I Easily Forgive . Hate Hate Hate .
But Its Something That I have . And You Have Too .
One Thing We Have In Common .

If There Is A Thing That I Regretted Is ;

Th Way Things Happened Between Us When We Were In Sec One .

If Only I Didnt Stand There Next To You When You Gloated About How You Get A+ And I Just Got A Fer Choir When It Was CCA opening ceremony .

I Wouldnt Think You Were A Show Off .

Then Maybe , Th Fight Between You And Me About Thana Wouldnt Rise .

Then Maybe I wouldve Taken th Time To Knoe You better .

Then Maybe We Would Be Close .

But Its Not . It Wont And Never Will Be .

Cause No Matter How Many Times We Go Through This , Its Th Same Thing . We would still Fight , I would Still Be Th Mean One . And You Would Still Go Through What You Went Through .

And In Th End , We Would Still Be Like This .

Like I always Say , Put One Thing Aside , And Settle One Thing First .

Us Is not Important Now . Settle Yer Family problems .

Family Will ALWAYS comes first in EVERYTHING and ANYTHING .

And , Ra , I never Intended to use you in anyway .

Not fer Money ,

Not fer Fame ,

Not Fer Anything .

You Were , A Friend , Never A Tool Fer Me Or Sasa Or Mateen To Use .

Cause Whatever It Is , You Are A Human .

Human With Big Heart But A Meddled Head . Who always think So short term and Goin fer Things That Are Sometimes Not important .

But whatever it is , You are A Person .

I never belittle you On that Aspect .

Infact , I Respect you Fer Always smiling In whatever situation . Even though You felt Like Crying . You would still try ta Smile .

Understand That . I never intend to make this quarrel like this .

cause , I made a promise .

Made a Promise that I wouldnt Hurt you anymore .

Maybe Thats Why I was Guilty .

Cause , I broke that one promise . A promise I made When I was In That Room .

When I look At A Girl Lying Down .

I Promise To Be There .

I broke That promise .

Im Sorry .

Eysa Kurtz .

* Just Leave Our Situation At That Kay ? At How It Is Now .

But Remember , No matter What Bad Things I say ,

I will always Think Of Otherwise . Cause You and I , no Matter How Hard We Try To Convince Ourself We Hate That Person , In Th End , We Tend To Forgive , Even Without Us Realizing It .

Even Though My Brain Is Still Angry , But My Heart Is Already Sealing Th hurtful Words We Threw At Each Other . Nothing is There Anymore but Memories .

So Lets Just Be Strangers For Now .

Cause I Don't Want Ta Hurt you Anymore .

Night .

Forever Unity Devine

2010-12-06T02:16:00.007+08:00

Today's Event ;

Spend Time With Family (CHECK)
Time With Precious Friends (CHECK)

Make My Loved Ones Happy (Sadly , Half CHECK)

So , Today , KRATON Performed at *SCAPE .
As Usual , They were GREAT !
As Usual , I Screamed , Shout , Sing-a-long .
As Usual , People Gave Me Th WHAT TH FUCK Look .
As Usual , I Fuck CARE .

Cause I Had Such A Perfectly Good Time Fer Myself Today ,
Cause I Spend Some Time With Family And Precious Friends . Literally Killed TWO Birds with One Beautiful Stone . But , Somehow , I Didnt Managed To Make One Or Two People Happy , Maybe Cause Its A Boring Outingg , Sad Cause They Weren't Having As Much Fun As Me .

Maybe , My Fun Is Just By Having Them Around . But Thats Not Such An Ideal Fun For Them ? Not Sure , Sorry Though I Wasn't Much Fun Dearies . Did Try Though , But I Have One Brain Two Hands And two Legs . I cannot PLEASE everyone Since Everyone I Love Is There . :(

So , Alifah , Mateen & Nazreen Reached First At Cineleisure .
Then They Met With Crews Of KRATON , Then Slack around .
Sorry Eh Guys I couldnt Entertain ya guys , Cause My Family Needs My Help Ta get Ready Fer Th Show . :(

I was also ANGRY at Sasa . Cause She was VERY late , & I Thought She Was Gonna Paitao Me . But I was Wrong Lah .

She Came At Last With A Good reason .

Sorry Fer Being Angry At Ya ! You Cannot Marah Me Back Taww , Any Human Being Couldve Been Angry . Hahahaa Joke . When Sasa Came , The Mood Lightened Up A bit Though . I also become HAPPY . Love You Sia Sasa !

Then , KRATON performed . I Notice Some Of My Precious Got Bored . Haiish .

But Someone WAS really Loving Th Time .

Sasa .

Thats Why I Like Her Being My Friend . She Gets Me . My Life & Stuff . Though We Have Misunderstanding , But It Always Ceased Naturally . What To Say , She Is Th Most Trustworthy Person Ive Ever Met . ;)

I Trust Her With My Life .

Afta KRATON Finished ,

Me , Sasa , Mateen , Alifah , Wan & Naz went ta Food REPLUBIC .

But Lifah Got Ta Go . So Left With Me , Sasa , Mateen , Wan & Naz .

Afta Food , We Walked Around , laughed Like Idiots . Hahaha !

kesian Wan & Naz , You Guys Really Dont Get It Do Ya ?

So . Sasa ,Wan & Naz , Went Home , Left with Me And Mateen . Mateen Brought Ben&Jerry Then We Eat . Saw Ibu And Then Lepak With Cik bob , Uncle Aidil , Cik Ayil , Aaron & Aaris , Cik Boy & Cik Su . Mateen Was SO Funny . Love Teasing That Boy ! Hahah ! Ibu REALLY Liked Mateen ! She Even ASKED Mateen To Be Her anak Angkat ! HAHAH . Mateen KEMBANG je .

Then Mateen Got to go , I sent Him To Mrt And Then Head Back Ta Lepak Place , Then Go Send Cik To Camp , But Too Early , SO , Cik , Me , Ibu , Aaron&Aaris Lepak At Changi Beach And Talk Shit Until CIk Got ta go . Afta That Went Home .

Oh , When We were goin to eat at FOOD REPLUBIC , We Saw Boi Step Sachok .

Stop It Sia . Muke Kalau lah HANDSOME takpe , Nie , TANGKAP Handsome Je .

Ape Lah pompan Nampak Kat Diri Kau ? Aku Tak Paham .

BUT! Im sure your parents teach you ADAT ? Orang Tegur , TENGOK BODOH .

Aku Tak Sikit Sedih Uh Kau Tak Nengok Aku , ATLEAST tegur Uh Sasa . BODOH .

Tuh Lah Makcik Aku Cakap ,

"Jangan Layan Orang Yang Tak Bercaliber"
Pasal , Orang Bodoh Nie , Kadang Kadang Tak

Sengaje Nak Buat Kau Marah , Tapi ,

Pasal Diaorang BODOH Sangat ,

Puas Hati Jangan Layan Kan ?

" Kau & Dierh Sajak , Pasal Korang Irrits , Jadi Boleh Tinggal Same-Same "

Irritating Tangkap Hot People .

XoXo , Esya Kurtz .

Tomorrow , I Post About WORK :) YEAH .

It hurts Doesn't it ? For You , For Me .

2010-12-02T23:37:00.002+08:00

Sorry , Didnt write at all fer th last 2 Months .

Was drop dead busy . But fun lah , So No complaints here .

Well , Life is Just goin on , maybe its th best that we should just Drop it right ? Maybe not . I dont knoe Anymore .

But anywhoo , I think Im Happy bein Like This .

Cause Loving Someone just takes too much efforts . And feelings , neither That I wanna give up on anytime soon .
kinda Lamee but I hate bein Thrown around .
Im not so popular like SOME girl , but I knoe how to treasure My loved ones . I just need time to trust feelings with another guy .

Well there is this one guy whom I like lah , but ....
Hahah . No point talking bout it when It have not yet happened

Hahha . Well . I had Fun . So much Fun this holiday . Its not like th other holidays where I just stoned to death .

I went ta BINTAN .
How CEWL if that ? Went there fer 4 days 3 nights .

Here is A SHORT review . :)

First Day , Went to Tanjung Pinang ta meet Bibik Rose , Then Went to BINTAN ! wehooo ! Unpack , Swam And Ate . Went to Pasar Oleh oleh . :)
Got th WIRELESS and then Quickly Fb Message with My 4 Friends who really cares ! Thanks Aite , Emma , Sasa , Mateen & Musz .

Second Day , Went to breakfast , played human sized monopoly and checkers , Swam , Kayak* , ate Dinner Then went to Bowling** in request Of Aaron & Aaris .
*I KAYAK ALONE ! WEHOOO ! But Uncle Odd And Aaron Bully sia ! Put Crab On My Kayak . Mean People !
** These boys , I love them lah ! So kawaii

Third Day , Went to breakfast , See iguana , went to Snorkelling , then went

bow and arrowing & shooting rifles . Then , BBQ . heheh ! Had so muchhaa fun .

Met Noe , Funny guy whom I so Detest . Got Girl , but flirty ? Go to hell lah .

Fourth day , Breakfast , Aaron and Aaris And Me went horseback riding . Then All Ezras went Bunjee jumping . Th guy there cute siaa ! hahaha ! no joke . Then met jumbo . heheheh !

Went to Explore Nirwana Garden . Walked fer almost 2 hours around . Then , went to buggy around Nirwarna . Fed Salamander , And met Noe , Ibu helped Exchanged Facebook . Hahah ! Cute right ? Uncle Odd also HELPED ! Adorable Aunt and Uncle I have !

Then went back to SIngapore , Fun doesnt stop there .

GRADUATION NIGHT . OUTING WITH FRIENDS . OUTING WITH FAMILY . OUTING WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS . PHOTO TAKING . REALIZED THAT NOT ALL FRIENDS ARE GOOD

I had FUN . :) Thats what I wanna Aim , Have fun no matter What .. Have Fun and Make people Happy . :)

Though I cant make Someone Happy , hey , What th hell Right ? I can't please EVERYONE . ;)

Oh ! and recently , someone Say we are making use And Fucking Another someone Around . Hello , We didnt even touch her lah . Use her for what cause ? Popularity ? Its not as if She is Madonna Kay ? Heh .

Oh And also Someone Say We are Bad . Well pompan pompan , please , GET YOUR FACTS RIGHT AND DONT LISTEN TO ONE SIDE . get it ? And Btw Guy & Girl , your thoughts ? Dont matter .

I fuck care means FUCK CARE kay ? Ciao !

So , Me & My Friends who don't treat Each other like DIRTS are gonna HAVE FUN ! hehehe !

So bye !

" You . Are . DELETED . "

My Daddy used ta say . People Like You Will Go Somewhere In Life , Yeah , To Jamban . :)

XoXo . Esya <3

Let it Go to your head.

2010-10-26T00:14:00.003+08:00

So . . Yeah . .
I miss You ALOT. I want to hug you . I want to tell you that I Love You.
Is that even possible now ? I don't think so . I dont think so & I knoe So.
You moved on without me ,even though you were the one who was so sure of th love.
funny huh? I shouldve listen ta my heart? But guess what?
I don't regret being with you . You're My best. Cause Unlike others, You're My first Love.
You made me Smile , Laugh & also Feel.
You makd me Cry , Stress & Happy.
You made me work so hard sometimes , Like when I had to wait fer you for one week .
I cried every and each day. I never cried for a guy before. I used to call girls who cried over a guy weak , cause i never cried for a guy before you , I thought I was so strong , guess what? I was wrong.

I wasn't strong, I just havent felt th love . My first Love.
You made me felt Love . Made me believe that everything revolves around us . Always sure that you were th pillar ta our Love . I was always amused by your actions , How you look when you think. How you smile when you caught me doin something silly.
How you hug me and say , "you're not fat bie, you're pleasantly plump"
How we tried . How we panic at Toa payoh garden because of what you did to my neck .
How sorry you look when I had to hurt myself for it.

I never felt so . Content.

how we quarrel & made up . I like it when we made up . I felt like I am A little girl , So protected with you. I don't knoe why . Maybe of what we went through? EVEN before we started our relationship.

* sighs *

I always say Im moving on , even though I knoe, Im just lying ta myself. I can't And I knoe I Won't.
I ..... Don't knoe .

I always scold you on my blog & facebook. But boy,
If I had to do it all over again , I would . I would still love you .
Even if it ended th same, hundred times over, I would do th same.
Even if I am th one cryin , I will Be a fool & still do it over again.

No one. No one can stir my feelings like you do . No one. No one But you.

I am sorry for all th hurt that I throw at ya.
I am sorry & I regret ta havta hurt ya.
Probably, ya think i am a bitch.
Dramatic.

Jaz, Few years down th road, You will knoe that Girls , NO MATTER what , WILL get dramatic.
Especially with th person they love. Ask Your friend who loves his Girlf.

Jazli 'Ammar .
Ive always loved yer name.
It has a meanin right? You told me before, Always so sure of yourself.
Thats what I Love about you .

If . . . Id known we would break up ,
I wouldve hugged you on 31 August .
Hugged you tighter. I wouldnt have let you go .
I wouldve done so many things with ya.

I wouldnt have let you go .

Jazli . Im a Fool aint I ? But I Don't Mind. I don't mind bein a fool for you .

Love you always love.
Esya Kurtz
Even though I knoe, You won't read this. What th heck right?

I wonder.

2010-10-23T22:45:00.001+08:00

Ya knoe sometimes i wonder, Whats th point of life, When you're always crying and sad and alone.
Th people that you want em' ta be with ya, is like, no where in sight.
Sometimes you wonder If everyone is worth your tears. You just wonder and wonder and wonder.
And you gradually cry again.

These people that you love so much, is like, Your only vital to survive, But what if they just are not there, cause they need to continue. you're stuck in th past.

These people. These Friends. They won't be there fer you forever.
No when i say this, they will all get offended.
But think again.
Its true

Human nature, Its just human nature. One thing we can never avoid.
One thing so hurtful but its a must to survive.

Homeless men, They dont go at it with their best friend.
BEFORE they get homeless. Who was with em? Their friends
But when they become homeless. Who is with them?
No one.

Its like that. You can find MANY friends ta laugh with ya.
You can Never find friends that will cry with ya forever.
No one really bothers.

why ?
human nature.

Can it be avoided?
Unless you're a saint.

How come they can be with their Partner Forever?
Because, Their partner can provide them with feelings friends cant.

Why are opposite sex important to em?
Because they can't live without em'.

Why?
Human nature.
Then people like me, We just get whatever is left behind. We just get friends who are temporarily single. & when they're attach. Byebye.

Its like that.
Its like that all over and over and over and over and over.

until i die.

Why?
Thats my nature.

I can't avoid it, Cause I just Can't.
I don't have alot of friends.
I only trust a group of em'.
A small number.
And im single.

So. where does that puts me?
No where.

No fuckin where.

Im single. Though there is someone out there who wants me.
but why? why can't i just be with him?
Cause im not happy.
With him. I mean he makes me laugh and all that. but im not content.

I dont wanna lie ta myself .
I cant just go with th flow.

Im more complexed than that.
I cant.
I cant
Oh god i cant.

I cant do this shit no more .
Fuck it. maybe i am self pitying.
Maybe i am emo-ing,
Maybe you all are sick and tired of it.
I don't care anymore.

Im gone.

Esya Kurtz <3

2010-10-23T22:04:00.001+08:00

Im gone.

2010-09-01T15:26:00.002+08:00

Now Its Over. Its Over. Its All Over.

Hope You Like It. Have A Nice Life Ahead Of Ya! =) Bye Boy.
I Love You So, But You dont Appreciate It. So. Yeah. You Let Go.
Thanks.

2010-08-31T21:01:00.001+08:00

Please. Don't Let Go. I Need You. I Love You. Please.

Its Just How It Is.

2010-08-24T21:55:00.000+08:00

Just Perfect Peachyy Day. Th Way I Loikke It, Th Way I Loathe It. Hmmm ~~ Girl You're Just A Waste YAknoe?

Well. hek hek. Today is my First Monthsary. Yaknoe Who is Th First Ta Wish Me?
Haziq.
Yeah. hahah Thanks Dude. Yaknoe' what? you made me smile in th morning. ahahaha thanks dude.

So yeah. Today was not a great day. not at all good.
First, Its 24th , supposedly, i shouldve celebrate my anniversary today. But hell. Hahah I celebrated it Alone.
Th whole Day. All fucking alone. thank you for caring. hahaha.

Secondly, I just feel like goddamn irrtated by everyone who just seems to think im only looking for sympathy. What th fuck yaknoe? Sometimes I wonder if Im trying too hard for your approval. Why th hell am i working hard for your approval? Everytime you want to do something, I always say okay and be next to you. But it seems that when you have something better, you leave me all alone. You should knoe that i appreciate you th most. I dunnoe lah. =)

Thirdly, I feel goddamn angry. angry.
Thank you basically cause not only i sent my first annie alone. you made my annie worse. I feel like giving up on everything and everyone. really.

Is this Karma? Does such things occurs like this? Or are you trying to tell me that i dont need anyone? that i can do this alone? I Can't .

Maybe i should just shut up about my feelings so that i won't make others feel irritated by my feelings. ergh.
Yaknoe. I just don't get th terms of, " absence make th heart fonder"
What?? does it means that i should just be more loving towards him? I need him more than ever.

& yet, I just feel like a bit. no wait. I just feel all cocked up.
Thank you.

& no , I dont knoe who i am thanking. Just thanking people basically.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.

Love, I Love You.

2010-08-23T23:09:00.001+08:00

So Hey People Out There.

I Now Know Why Jaz Wasn't Contacting Me. Actually I Have Known this fact Last Monday. Buyt I did'nt Want to Say it OUT Loud.

Im Sad To Know That We Are Seriously Separated Not By Choice. But This Will Only Be Temporary. Cause I Know As Much As This Hurts Me, This Hurts Him Double.

I Know His Uncertainty. I Know He Thinks That There Is Nothing There. But Th Fact is,

I still DO love Him

Not Less But Much Much More.

I Hope you Realize This Bie, Its Not Easy For Me To DO This Alone. But I Will Do It. You Wait & See.

Ill Prove To You That My Love For You Isn't Fake Or Based On Looks Or Whatever shits those girls are doing nowadays.

I Will Show it To You. Cause Baby, I Know There Is No One Else That Can Distract me, No One But You. Im Very Sad at This Outcome. I Thought It Was Over That Time. But It Seems that Being With Me Made you More Stress?

I Dunno. If Its True, Id Rather Be Far Away From You. Cause I Dont Want you to do stupid things. you ALWAYS do stupid things when you're stress. ALWAYS.

This Is Sad. Tomorrow is Our Official One Month Anniversary.

Im Sad, But at th same time happy. cause you promised me another day. that. that made me smile.

hearing your voice , i wanted to cry. but i did'nt. Cause, I know if i cry, id make you more worried. I would not want that. Ill be waiting upon your release.

I Love you. Nothing Changes. Even If You are not here. Please Believe Me.

SyahSora

2010-08-16T01:44:00.001+08:00

Don't play games with her heart & don't leave her waiting. Call her back.

So Yeah. Recap on Yesterday ayy?

14 auggie.
Ibu was leaving on 16 Auggie, So on 14, Everyone was gathering at her house, We had a bomb lah naq katekan , ahahha!
Mama also was here. She stayed for th night. Happy to be atleast on th right term with her.
Woke up at 9 in th morning on 14 auggie, Followed Ibu To her workplace at 3-4.
Ibu was finishing her work until it was finished, moved on from there at 5? then Went ta fetch My Famalia.
We went to parkway. bought ibu's slipper Then went off ta sheng siong at geylang. bought groceries Then head home.
Uncle Aidil & Uncle Bob Was Down th stairs, They also help ta move th groceries up.
Then we slack at home. laugh and laugh.
I missed mamad sia. Met him that day i can't help but to squeeze him so tight.
sometimes, I am sorry that i am not a good sister. but hey. im not perfect & i dont set myself to be just to make people happy.

Th whole Day, Jazli wasn't even talking much.

Then on 15 auggie,
Mornig, i woke up, teached aaron his homework then we all head ta kallang leisure park. Had fun there with aaron aaris and cik ayil .
Ibu and along went ta settle some stuff there. so th kids and i went berserk with th games there.
So ayy, then went home , buke pizza Then me along and ibu head ta airport.

We sent her off. But before that we had an awefully great time. honestly.

actually i am sad that ibu is goin off, even if its two week.
She had always been my source of strength. We both had went thru alot together .
I love her more then Mama. I am very . . . sad.
I dont know how to go on this two weeks without looking at her face and talk to her for solution.
She actually told me this.
"Aisyah, When time comes. you will knoe who is th perfect Love. You may find that its hard to stay single, thats how you knoe who is your man. But, To get there, beware of broken hearts . Your broken heart. To break someone's heart requires you to break your own. Are you ready for that? Ready to cry alone at night? Don't rush this things, for when i was at your age , I fell inlove with a guy so alike with me. But did we marry? we were together for 8 years, but did we marry? Thats th thing, you gotta make mistakes yes, but do you have what it takes to mend it? im not so sure. but i knoe you can do it. after all. you're my niece. "

That. gives me strength.
But hey, ahaha. Jaz Broke it without a single Bat of his eyelid.
hahahhaha!
Ignored me. th whole day. he ignored me.
Thansk alot. appreciated it.
Th thing is im not angry. Just sad.
you told me you love me. Is love such a meaningless thing to you?

heh!

Thanks Haziq.
You accompany me. Though i wasn't really entertaining you. Im sorry. You should knoe me, Once im attached, its hard for me to talk to other guy, once i say im commited, i am committed, so, im sorry dear friend. i couldnt be as how i was.
Never th Less. Thank you FOR always being there for me. Always talking to me, giving me advices.
You dont knoe, but on th those time you sms-ed me. I was crying. But You managed to pull me thru. And i get up smiling.
Thank you dude. =)
you're a great friend that i find th solace in.
Thanks.

syah sora.

Haiishh

2010-08-12T22:47:00.002+08:00

Sides? Conflict? Causes?

This is WORSE then SOCIAL STUDIES. Im gettin' ABIT stressed. Im sure time will heal wounds.

Why Why Why. .

Questions FILL My head. WHY must you all take sides? I didnt ask for this. I didnt want to end any friendship. Or cause stain at my own. But hey.

Im unreasonable right?

Oh. And I Over React.

Thanks . Thanks So Much.

You didnt Understand th situation, & you Just Shoot Words From Your Mouths.

Im not implying on ANYONE. Dont TERASE.

Sometimes, I wonder, If you think That Im your friend. Cause th thing is. NOBODY bothered asking MY side of STORY. Everyone was already pitying her. Guess what?

This is th moment that i step My BIG fucking FOOT down.

I, TH OVER REACT & UNREASONABLE QUEEN, am SO not in th WRONG. I dont CARE if you think im in th wrong, Cause In Th first PLACE, You dont CARE to Ask. EVERYONE believe th innocence Right? WHAT to do.

I dont care also that th PERSON i love is also helping her. I dont Care anymore.Cause Now,

This Post will be th finale. Im TOO tired to EVEN think Of how SAD to see you alone, I even tried to ask people to not leave you alone. Buut honestly, Your people on your sides.. WEHOOOOO!!!!!

Thanks. Like Ive said. Im Just toooooooo tired to CARE.

Be who you are, Be th one everyone Loves, Dont love Someone Who don't Love You.

This words. Are just for Me & For You.

We are Basically TWO different people. VERY different.

UNREASONABLE. Jazli Said.

Fine, I am. Maybe Cause You all dont take th time to ASK why i am unreasonable this time round.

You all don't knoe what was happening. You all merely took her words.

You all don't knoe th frustration to always try to understand th situation. To Understand WHY she did certain things that we told her gazillion times not to do. & When she is in trouble, She ask th same questions again and again.Don't you all find it funny that suddenly her close friends are not by her side? You think im unreasonable? Try taking care of someone who don't take care of your heart. its a great feeling ya knoe? heheheh!

Trust Me, Its ALL already tried, I treid to give her simple words that won't hurt her,

It didnt work,

I tried th hard method,

It backired like hell.

Hahahahhahaha, Such a joke to have sucha pretty friends.

I trusted th judgement of people who dont judge themselves first.

JOKE. your friendships are JOKE.

So does your words. Your Love.

Are all JOKE.

AGAIN, im not implying TO a PERSON. Im implying to people yang teraserh.

Great Job. I Love Having Hypocrites For Friends!

Hehehehhe. Logging Off.!

Sora.

whatever.

2010-08-03T23:11:00.000+08:00

Well Kitties,

Today Was A Rather Interesting Day.

Wanna knoe why?

Well th Bitches HAs Decided to strike back. GOSH! hahah!

Well bitch, Try your best okay? Cause Im here Waiting For your attacks. Im never scared dear. Cause you're Just a speck.

& please. I make my blog public, SO that you will read this, Im not like you. I dont PRIVATE my blog, while saying shits about em'

Beb, Perangai adik adik eh kau?

Hahaha! Sungguh Joke Of Th Year Babe.!

Okay. SO Yeah. School Was Fine. I guess.

DnT Was Okay, Chiong Like shit sia!

WEEEE!

So anyways, I am Very Happy that Im Meeting Babay tomorrow!

Excited EVEN. heheh!

Ah, well. I also have a very difficult situation at school. If I am Simple enough, Id do it but im not. I just hate conflicts. Cause, It only brings me problems. But what ta do. She bit th wrong hand. Well. Shes is bitch, so she is a Dog right? WAKAKAK!

Okay lah. Nitey babes! =) smiles!

Whatever itu Loh. =/

2010-08-02T22:17:00.000+08:00

Merepek Lahh Kann Everything Im in th WRONG. WTH.
Why Do You Expect Me To Say Sorry Everytime Ma?
Wheres My Sense Of Pride? I Am Not A Kid Anymore Ma. Stop IT Please.
Haiyooo~~~ Troublesome ah.

2010-07-31T23:31:00.002+08:00

Dear Kitties.

So Today was Great, Though Me And Pa Aint Talking. Buyt Hell, Its Worth It! ahahahs!

So Went Out. Reached at Ubi First. Seriously girls, I lived th furthest, but i CAME first!

Waited for sasa, then need to pee, so i went to toilet. Came back, Sat down, Then Wan came. chit chat at nothing. Then Shidah Came. Then Sasa Came. Make her Up.

Then Jaz Came. Then Rara & Dannie Came. Make Rara Up.

Then Went off afta making a Quick Plan With Dannie & Sasa. Took 65 To Orchard.

I tell ya. I was SO tired I didnt talk alot with Jaz. The reached th Venue.

Walked like in th middle of 100 people. I tell you. its NOT a nice feeling to be squashed & all. ITS NOT GREAT FEELING. haiyoo~~~ walk cannot properly. & i hate CROWDED place. HONESTLY.

Then, Reached Mac. I was in a bad mood liao. Then Jaz kept asking me. So I ignored him until i cool down. i knoe i shudnt have done that but if i do talk to him. I will hurt him with my words. I have a killer tongue!

Then, afta eating, Me, Jaz & Shydah Went to buy th cake. First we went to Famous Amos, Then goyt to knoe, We need to book before buying th cake, so we went to Taka. Still No Cake Shop. Then we went To Ion. Then We saw Coffee Bean. We Went & bought Th Cake, A Loaf actually. Its called a Mudpie.

Then went back to Shaw, Then Shydah went to accompany Rara. We Slacked at th Inner Macdonald. Dannie Called Ta ask one of us to go. So shydah went. Then , Me & Jaz Talk bull, Until Sasa & Wan Came with Th Balloon For Rara.

Then we catched up with Dannie At Th MacCafe. Rara was at th toilet & were about to come out.

I tell you, on that moment, IT WAS HILARIOUS. We ran like shit ta go to th corner, Then Wait For Rara to come up!

Then We Saw Rara, WE SANG AT TH SIDE OF TH MacCAFE! hahah!

"Happy Birthday To You" Never Sounded So Toned Deaf.!

SO cute right.?

Me, Sasa, Wan, Sydah, Dan & Jaz Sang. Out of tune, but its th nicest moment.

Rara Looked touch! i Hope she Is, then we went Slack at Far east Place.

Then Jaz Sent Me ta th bus stop. Took 502 Reached home at 7:40 ? somewhere there lah. hahahah! =)

So Yeah. Thats Today.Love th Day Lah Honestly! heheh!.

LAST FOREVER DANNIE & RARA! =)

I could Use Somebody Like You.

2010-07-28T19:42:00.000+08:00

Dear Life,
Wanna Knoe Something, even though People Say that, It cannot Be Love When You Just Met Th Person.
But If This Is Not Love, What Is It Then? Infatuation? I dont think So. No Wait. I knoe It isn't So. Then? What is it im feeling? I feel Very Happy with him. But When Im not with him. I Just Feel DAMN hollow.
Its Dangerous. Im in a dangerous Situation. Honestly.

Why are you making me feel like this when its nearing my Nlevels?
I DO concentrate in Class! I made notes & I participate.
(Gosh, When i note it all down, I feel so childish)
Its Just That, When in between th classes, I get VERY restless. I geyt Very curious at what he is doing & all.
Im scared that he will feel freaked out cause my feelings are just too much.
I dont knoe... whyyy.. ......

Im seriously making myself feel like shit.
I Want to meet him everyday, But, If he gets Jelak Of me? Haiishh..
But I feel so DAMN Lonely without him.
I think about him during free time. writing lyrics.
Knoe something funny? writing a song about him take furious efforts.!
Im putting In efforts in writing my songs now.

Usually i would go "so, yeah this is how th lyrics is" And don't bother ta change it.
Am i being an idiot? Seriously?
Shit right? Shitty Right?

I Look at other people relationship. They look so safe together.
I dont knoe about mine. Im just too scared to lose him.
Im just too scared to be without him.

Even though its barely one month or so.
Thats what is making me wondering.
They say ,"It aint love, Cause you just met him"
Then what am i feeling now? Honestly?
Im feeling ridiculously paranoid now.
RIDICULOUSLY.

I want to be angry with him for uttering such silly things. but i cant. not for long. Not for Long.
I didnt want him to knoe im angry at him. & Im just tooooooooo scared to let g oof my emotions.
Cause i knoe when i let go of my feelings, I either freak him out. Or, Worse, he will start to hate me.
So. im controlling my temper, Moody, & Words.
Seriously trying. but how can i?

Sometimes, Im Moody Cause. he is busy to layan me. - Im selfish.
Temper - because , i cant tell him im moody.
Words - .... my words are harsh, but thats how i show my love. Im harsh . harsh.

I should change myself. Really change myself if i want him to love me right?
I don't Knoe anymore. I dont knoe what to do anymore.

Fcuk this Shit. FCUK THIS Mother father SHIT!

ToDay Sucked Like That Bitch sucking A ...........

2010-07-28T18:42:00.001+08:00

So, Woke Up Early, But As Usual, I went To Disturb Hazrin Cause He was Awake. didnt feel Like Turning Up early. Cause, I Just Feel Like Coming Later.
So Yeah, Walked to th Bus Stop, It Was Damn Cold Lah. Like RAINING heavy at Jurong, Honestly, I Feel Like Goin up th stairs, Into th House, Into Th Room And ON to My BED & Sleep.
Hahah! I Was having LOOOOWWW mood in th morning itself.
Wanna Knoe what happened? Well,
I changed my Samsung Star For Nokia 5600 Express Music. Then, Mama Said To change back , then she cancelled th plan. But I went On With It. So, I changed My Nokia back to Samsung Star, Then, I realized, ALL Bie's Message wasn't in th samsung Star, So I changed back into Nokia. Then Tried as i might, I couldnt Save Th Message in th Sim Card! FCUKED!
I was trying out at 11.30 UNTIL i gave up at 12.45. HONESTLY!
haiyooos...
Then, Pissed off, I was about to sleep then my lovely uncle came back. So sweet man he. HE made Milo For me. ! hahah!
Slept at 2 plus.
So yeah. woke up groggy.
I was Moody th whole day today. & I smsed Bie in th morning, He only woke up at 12! heh. great cool. chill. . . Im chilling now.. Cannot Feel My Head.
At 12, i went out from th class, went to th toilet, went out from th toilet at 12.30. My hair couldnt be tied Scorpion. Hate lah! I wanna tie like Th rest of th girls! buyt haiish.. My hair My Hair..
Then Reached att Toa Payoh at 1.05pm. Bought food at Burger King. GREAT deal yaknoe!
For 4.95 I have a set meal WITH sundae! how cool is that?!?!? afta that,
Went ta First Toa Payoh Sec. I tell ya. lotsa people i saw, buyt they never say hie ta me. shits.
Had th mutherfcuking Oral. I can say. I Did Bad. Thats All. fullstop.

Then, Sasa went off ta meet Wan. Forever Sweet Lah those two! grattz!
Rara Had ta go home. Shydah & Zu Too.
So I walked To wamphao Alone.
hahaa. used ta it though so no worries!

Then, reached at My aunt's Heaven, I went ta chat with Bik Ratna.
Then went ta log on. then here i am! hahah!
So ayye. Lifes Shitty Now, But I Have S.R.A.D.Z. Thanks Guys.

2010-07-25T22:24:00.000+08:00

So, Today Bie went Back In There. haiishh.. Lonely saiii! BUYT! I will HANG ON!

I plan to keep myself Busy this week, so as to noyt Miss my Bie too much. Buyt, I kinda feel Lazy. . Oh well, We will see how it Goes ahkayy? hahahs.

Anyways, I just wanted to state here that, Im seriously thinking aboyut Bie Aloyt. Too much i think. Ya think im going obsessed? I hope not!

Ah shats. Th whole week, I will be alone. Erms. It hurts just to think about it lah kan.. buyt what ta do?

Love him what, have to stand this separation lorhh! hehehehs.

Anyways. Today , went to Ibu house. I tuckloads Of clothes! gosh!

And and and. I kinda look hot in them! heheheh!

soooooo yeahhhhh,

" bie, i miss you too much seyy, what am i supposed to do? I am scared that i might cry from missing you too much. Am i being too dramatic? or is this how it feels to be inlove? Im sure, something good will come out from this separation. Though we were both noyt willing to go through it. Buyt ists for your own good kan? what can i do? I miss you too much.. haishh. it hurts. >_< "

I went and took alittle Test on Love

Th first Quiz, Is:

"Is your boyfriend a real deal?"

&& th ANSWER is ;
"He is the real dealhe really likes you. He wants to hang out with you, talk to you, and
thinks that you are a really nice person. This ones a keeper."

My comment on it ;

Gosh! heheheh! I knoe he is th real deal. Just checking twice. ! heheh! gilerh kan aku? YES im crazy about him. im scared i might scare him ! heheheh!!!

Th second Quiz Is:

"Is he worth your time?

&& th ANSWER is ;

"You and your boyfriend are perfect for eachother. A ocasional fight or two is normal but who doesn't fight? Your boyfriend respects you, listens to what you say and think, and is a keeper for sure!"

My comment on it ;

Two of th quiz says that he is a keeper! hahahahs! =3

Th Last Quiz Is:

Are You Just Crushing Or Is It A Real Deal?

&& th ANSWER is ;

"You are head over heals for him! you talk to him a lot and im sure he is into you too! just keep it up, hang out with him alot and im sure everything will go well. he's sweet funny and caring he is def true! =]]"

My Comment on it ;

Yeah I knoe, I am with him already, just taking this fer fun. Buyt HELL.

ALL th quizes PROVES that ME & Him. hahahs. Meant to be.

Well, I gotta Go, Need ta pack & see his pictures before going to sleep.

hahahs! yes. Im crazy.

Love you Jazli'Ammar.

2010-07-25T12:22:00.000+08:00

Okay Taq Bie? hahahs! you asked for one, ill give you one! hahahhas! =) Kalau taq okay i do another one!

2010-07-25T11:53:00.000+08:00

See That Picture? I was Wearing Bie's Beanie.

Geee... Love Him saii. Wished I could Meet Him Everyday, BUYT. I need to be patient,Knoe why? Cause he is noyt as free nowadays. Buyt nevermind. I will Wait.

Cause There is no other guys in my eyes, Only Jazli'Ammar.

Heheh! Buyt Eh, I feel Old Saii, He 15, I 16. . . OLD SAIII!!!!

hahahah!

Kay kay. stop stop. So yeah.

Woke up Just now, My Ma is okay already, her voice is normal. I pity Her, Im sorry MamaDearh , I didnt mean to add to your burden. I Love You Yaknoe? I will try to change.

I have to prove to th people that I Love that, I LOVE THEM. & So, I will only want them to be happy.

Hmm. . I played with Hazrin. Cute lah tuh budak. Satu KICK melayang London. hahaha!

Then help kemas kitchen. Then ate with My Pa & My Ma with Mamad and Hazrin.

heheheh! Hazrin Knoes how to stand in his walker! CUTE SEYY!!

& mamad Look like me day by day. i didnt knoe i was that cute when i was a baby.!

hmm . . . . Ya knoe, Im bored, bie busy dari Tady, I am left to enetertain myself.. hahaha! hmmm..

Bie, Next tyme Meet amik gambar ehk syang?

hahhahas! i wanna EDIT & tayangkan!!!!!!

wehooo!

I will wait for you bby boy, no worries, I wont flirt. I won't think about any other person. promise you bby.

So, no worries, Do what you wanna Do, Ill be here.

Th same spot, I will be loyal & faithful. It is cause , Im yours & only Yours Boyy.

Love you like hell yaknoe?

Its SO surreal sia.

"ku terperangkap dalam kamus yang gelap, taq dapat bayangkan diriku tanpa mu, semakin hari ku semakin rindu, hari yang terguris kini jadi sendu."

Bie. I love You. SO so MUCH.

2010-07-24T22:15:00.001+08:00

Well Holla Kitties,

Guess what? Me & Jazli'Ammar Are Together Now !!!!

CAN YOU HEAR THAT? MY HEART THUMPING LIKE HELL LAH SEYYY!!!

So, Baby Boy, At last We are together happily.
Im so happy that I went down to somer today. Looking at you smiling, woah! my heart pound like shit sia! you dont knoe what effects you have on me Dude. After waiting fer a week, I finally get to meet you again, AT first I thought you dont like me anymore. But, I dunnoe, Im happy that you still do. Cause im inlove with you. Th way you make jokes, Gosh dude, you crack me up.
Always Making me Happy with your words. your clumsy words, th words that makes my heart melts. Th way you say things. Hahahs! you really make me Fall For You. & this ain't Just words. Ain't Just words.
I Love You Jazli'Ammar. And I dare Say that you Love Me Too.
Oh And I also DARE say that, I know that with you, My feelings are Definite,
Because we went through alot before we get officially together.
Heheh! & Bie, I Love th way you are.
Im just so Happy, HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY.
Hmmm. . Bie, Yaknoe what?
You're th first boyfriend that i had that ruffles my hair ,
i actually Love th way you ruffled my hair, And then say, "Sexy what" ! hahahahha! sibei CUTE!
hehehhehehe!

Love you lah Jazli'Ammar! Knoe that & stuff it inside your head.

2010-07-19T21:58:00.000+08:00

Thank You Rara For Th post.

I didnt mean to upset you & th others. I cry because He really means aloyt to me. Im sure as time past, I will heal my heart. Cause I knoe, He wont accept me back into his life. Buyt. thanks Ra, You listened to me When im Sad, Listened to Me when I have something to said. Thanks you. I love you VEry Th much.

This is What Rara Said. ILYRa~~

bbygirl, i wanna tell you sumthang and u makesure tt you keep dhis in mind. before that, let me tell you this, th main point of me posting about you cause im returning th favour that u gave me when i broke up with alip. posting about rara d'elle on your blog. first thang first. sya, you're th bestest eva understanding girlf i've eva hav. you see, im here, always right by ur side. just 8 numbers away and also a staircase and a toilet away. im here for you, giving you a hand when you need one. cause, when i needed help. you were there ta comfort me and you were also there ta give me solutions. sya, frankly, i dun like seeing you cry. i understand how its feels like when u in this kinda situation. darling, lets pray togehter for him tt he's gonna be fine and he's not gonna be permanent there. i believe that if he was to at least cooperate, everythang cn go on smoothly and you both cn be sweet love birds. i know he's a good guy whu cares for you. and i believe thangs cn be betta than this. but its happening dear, we can't turn th time bby. everythang semue dah takdir. inilah satu cabaran yng diberi daripade allah. we're girls, is gonna be here, right by your side, holding you tight even if we're far apart from each other. believe me, sasa, mateen, dada, anna, nisa, rarasan, zaza is here, to comfort you, help you in every situation and to ensure that u're not sad, angry, fucked up right now. till here dhen, you know i love you and i know you love me. be strong, cause words can't bring you down. <3

To Rarasan :

Thanks You fer everything that has happened th last week. I must say, you're a good friend. Im very happy to have made amends with you. & now, when i fell, You came. Thank You Ra. I Love You. ya knoe?

This is what Rarasan Said:

oh fck shit . why must he end up in there ? i know he isnt crazy , but he just have that attitude . hm , i feel sorry for aisyah sora . now more people got to know about him . people from ite simei -,- jaz , tc of yourself . aisyah sora , rilex more okay ? :D im always here for you .

To Sasa;

You Have been th most supportive one. Thank you! You lemme call you When Im crying. You lemme Cry. You understand. I Thank You Sa. You have been there for me throughout everything. Thank You, ya knoe, if you dont exist now, or if we are arguing, I may return back to th old me. This is th most fragile period in my life, buyt you were patient with me. Thank you Siti Saleha.

I have th greatest Friends on earth.

I love you guys!

Thank You ANNA , NISA, MATEEN & HANA.

Anna : Thank you Love for cheering me up. I must say, im glad we patched things up. Thank you Anna. I Love you!

Nisa: Sis, ya knoe, Im very sure that before this, i always thought of you as th quiet GIRL. buyt i realized under all that, you are th most caring girl i had ever met. Thank You NISA. I love You

MATEEN!: ADIK, THANK YOU SO MUCH SAYANG. i love you ya knoe,?

thanks for being there fer me. THANK YOU SO MUCH. i loooove you!!!

HANA.: Thanks beb, you make me smile when you knoe im falling down ta bits. thank you. I love you Hana!

I will try noyt to cry okay guys?

Iloveyou!

syahsyah Sora!

2010-07-19T21:19:00.000+08:00

See That Guy?
He Has Been Making Me Falling Head Over Heels With Him.
I was Stupid To noyt accept him. I was STUPID.
I realized That I REALLY do Love Him When I saw Him Walking away & flashes Of Him Making Me SMILE.
Him Making Me Laugh.
Him Making Me feel SO GodWammit Special.
He is Th First That enters My heart without me Noticing It.
How stupid can i geyt?
How Idiotic am i?
Now That He is Out OF Reach, I am standing here.
Waiting For Him.
I Love You Jazli Ammar. So so Much.
I Dont care what people say anymore. I dont. Please. Be alright.
Fucking Shagged for th last 4 Days.
Been Crying straight fer non stop. I Need Him To Call & Tell Me That, He Will Come Back.
We separated without saying "goodbye" I guess, Even without saying "goodbye" , you will still be separated.
Fcuk right? & we didnt even Did talk about anything. I am sorry Jaz.
If its me That is causing you problems. Im sorry.
If you Cannot accept Me, I understand. so much.
All this while, all i have caused you is pain. Thats why you are in that situation Now.
I feel fcuked up, I shouldnt have met you on 8 Of July. I shouldnt Have Met You.
Cause, Now, Both of us is in pain. All i can Do is Cry & Wait fer Your Call. Though I know, You called only fer your belongings. Buyt, I still waited So That i can hear your Voice.

My Heart skipped a beat when you say "syah syah"
I wished you can call me "baby" again. I Love You Jaz.
I seriously DO. I Do Not Know What ON Fcuking Earth that made me hesitate. Im sorry Jazli.
If you Cannoyt accept me back into your life, I dont mind, just as long as i can still see you & hear you laugh.
Thats alright? kan?

I am doing things that you said you like. I dont knoe why. I always Vision you. I always think of you. I always laugh alone cause i remembered what you said on th phone, or when we met.
Im so so sorry Jaz, I dunnoe what to say. I dont knoe what to do.
Jaz. Im lost without you. I knoe its true. I dont even think of other guys, I dont even Look at other guys.
You're th only one in my mind. Even if Everyone objects it, ( which i knoe, My friends GIVES all support)
I want to be with you. I love you. Iloveyou. ILOVEYOU.

JAZLI 'AMMAR. I LOVE YOU.

"bby boy, you're th first that made me cry when we separated, though before this, we were mere friends. I still feel Very lost. Th four days that you said you have wasted on, is th four days that made me realized what is true. I knoe, I may be nothing to you right now & forever, Buyt if it takes my broken heart to heal, I want to see you again. 1 hug, 1 smile, 1 date. thats all. Its cause, i Love You that i have become this desperate . Ive never felt This Desperate. bby. I love You. "

I Hate This.

2010-07-03T03:12:00.000+08:00

Duhn Lie ta Me & say dhat you love me . whatever dude. I aint something you play with . I knoe i can be without ya. buyt suddenly , you turn & gave me th embarce dhat ive waited for. Buyt you were gone before i could hold you in my arms & whisper ,"I love you"

SO now lemme confess something ayye?
Its confusing ta me . Buyt I cant say it ta yer face dhat I Love you BUYT i HATE you.
can you explain dhat ta me?
I can be without ya. Buyt ta see ya all alone almost everyday is killing me.

I knoe very well. with my family problems . school problems. academic problems. "myself" problems,
I can still go on. Buyt i knoe you can't . dhat. makes me wanna protect ya. buyt im actually th girl. whyy?

I hate you fer dhis. Buyt I love you For making me FEEL home when i have none ta turn to.

"if i could dhen i would, im going wherever you will go

Wayy up high;

Or down low,

I will go wherever you may go. "

you make me smile. you make me laugh. you make me angry. you make me confuse. you make me regret. you make me decide. you make me mean&bitchy. you make me feel worthless. you make me feel

Hated.

im th fool who love you.

i am th fool who trust everyone's words

i knoe they are lying just cant be bothered anymore.

i knoe. you dont love me like you say you do. you dont .

2010-07-03T02:53:00.000+08:00

dearh Life.
You told me ta noyt Give up & search for solutions. Yet all i find is illusions.
Maybe you wanna play tricks on me again & again, Buyt Its Never Gonna Stop me.
Its ridiculous How you make me look so small with your pathetic words.
Ridiculous how you Make me believed you. Yet a second later i knoe its all untrue.
your words are such a strong desire, pulling me into your sweet sweet embrace.
As i beleieved what everyone says, My heart went out again.
Finding th true meaning of honesty, Searching through th night.
If all icould ever find is me crying my might.

Life, You gave me all these sentences, & I bind them altogether.
& you will see what a sweet games they give,
When everythings change,
I may stand here all alone. I may sit hee all alone.
But its th best then be with you, you always tears my soul.

You pulled away my innocence, You pulled away my heart,
you Make me look like imma fool, believing every words.
Noyt True, & painful.
Noyt Right Nor Wrong.
I have no sense in direction.

Now that I know everything is wrong.

[I hate liars, I hate Liars, Duhn Lie ta make me Happy. Duhn lie ta save yer own butt. Id rather you do it sincerely, Dhen making me feel th unworthy.]

ehk. Taq perlu uh.

2010-07-02T23:51:00.000+08:00

Heyloo.. girl(s),

Lets start with my junior ay?
dear junior Bangs taq menjadi. please RESPECT someone who do noyt knoe you.
in da first place. DO noyt ever judge me. cause you dont knoe me . HELL.
you have no rights what-so-ever ta judge me. geytit? Cause you are in no position ta talk about others.
Kau taq tengok muke kau dulu? Yes aku taq beraperh cantik. & yes. i am noyt popular. Buyt Girl. i have my own self pride. & my flaws is th ones dhat pulls me back down ta reality. Popularity? Noyt even in my dreams dhat i wanna be popular. fer what? so dhat i will be complacent with my life?
I am used ta dhis hardship. I duhn need any of your craps right now lil kiddy. you're only 14. ACT like one ? Can?

& ta th lady who teraserh when reading dhis ;
I seriously duhnnoe what i did wrong or WHEN i offended ya? Cause honestly, I dunoe dhat i was dhat offending. I dont care if i dont talk ta him fer th rest of my life. until i die also i duhn care. If it takes you ta stop making me feel like a prick. I will gladly miss his mothers plane flight tomorrow.
He was th only cousin of my age at my mother's side. I dont have anyone around my age ta talk ta. I duhn geytit. You are pretty, why are you feeling like dhis? maybe i dunoe you dhats why im feeling like dhis, Buyt i feel seriously offended of whatever dhat had happened.
Maybe i should stop trying ta be ya friend? cause i duhn hav da energy ta continue dhis hate game. you see dhat 'junior'i wrote about up dhere? yeah, she is my target. Noyt you.

Once again.
Im sorry for whatever wrong i did ta ya.
I never liked him dhat way. i swear ta god. cause its disgusting as we are seriously JUST cousin. Another Reason is,
Im inlove with someone else. Someone who i find it hard ta forget.
& my mom will definately chop me & throw ta sea if i ever have dhat feelings towards him so. please.
(^^)

& ta ya idiotics mofo bitches.
I have no tyme to entertain ya at all. cause you are noyt worth my tyme.
buyt bitches. YES. i knoe who all of yaáll are, Duhn lemme see ya walking infront or by my side.
I may change, buyt hell, Dont try me.
you wanna backstab each other, dhats your friggin problems. Duhn let me hear anymore shits from ya. ayte? imma slide ya neck. babi. taq perlu.
rambut dah lah afro. chillax uh kau. muke dah mcm gytu. taq yah susah payah uat gossip pasal aku. taq memberi korang any credits. cause, i wint retaliate by violence. nope. Bbuyt. duhn make your own lives living hell when schooling dhere. geytit. Kiterh minah kan? HAIYOO. taq taw kau bute ke gylerh ke ape.
MINAH is noyt us & us is noyt MINAH.
Duhn judge me just cause of my past.
so be a bitch and run along.

Sora.
i am sorry kitties, I am having alloyta problems ta settle with.
I duhnoe how ta solve em' buyt im sure i can.
Deep down. i knoe i am strong enuff.
I may lose a family soon. Buyt i duhn care. buyt atleast i duhn givva care about one of th individual.

bye. sya sora.

2010-06-25T23:11:00.000+08:00

Hey So, Lets Continue ayye?
Hahas. Sorry I went ta fetch Mamadearh.
Note ta self :
When ya fetching yer mamadearh or whatever. Do noyt listen ta yer mamadearh & her Friend's Harping. Its no use. They are hypocrites Infront say different thing, Behind. Different.
Smile & do yer On Shit. Until your mamadearh's Friends Outta Sight, dhen ya talk ta ya mamadearh.

So Yeah. Continuation.
I seriously Doubt That I have Th Courage Ta Spend ANOTHER day alone wif ya. Honestly? What She said Makes ME Feel Like A Fcuking Sister Having A Brother Complex!
Its Disgusting thing ta be reminded of ya knoe!
I just Am very speechless. honestly.
Yeah, Whatever right?

So. Yesterday, I went home Afta Being ABANDON at Dhoby Whatever. Hehs! Jokes!
Yeah so i went home dhen Goyt This Thai guy, Kept bumping ta my guitar. Yeah Like. Hell i was pissed. He bumped At my guitar From CITY HALL TA JURONG EAST!
WHAT TH FCUKING HELL DUDE? goyt NO space is it!!!
Buyt th fuhnny part is, When i was rolling my eyes at th Thai guy, Th NS guys infront of me saw & he smiled At Me! HE IS CUTE pulak tuh!

Khe khe kheeee~~~

I had My Own Sadistic Fuhn Lah. Just Noyt SHowing off.
Yes I may Be nerdy. Or GEeky. Buyt HEY! Imma Cute ONe.
Heheh ( that was random)

I goyt seriously Major problem with Bitches.

& dudes!

I am NOYT a MINAH.

SO DUHN CALL ME A MINAH.

BEFORE i SAY VULGAR TA YER FACE!

So yeah , i used ta be doesnt mean i dont change.

SO dont test my patience.

Ill Bitch Slap you. Thanks YOU & bye!

okay. I had Fuhn Just now at home. And i havent DO a single homewerk! Yes Imma Idioyt.

Thanks

Buyt Hey. Hahahs, I duhnno WHat imma doin Afta N. So. Yeah.

Maybe Ill Join Tha Army? hehehe?

Okays . so yeah. Better Go. Later Kena Whatever With Mamadearh.

haish whatever

2010-06-25T19:56:00.002+08:00

Okay Kitties.
So Last Two Days Wasnt Really Nice Lah.
I mean When i Went outing With Sasa & Syed.,
It was Th Bomb ! Until we went Plaza Sing. =(

Gosh. Ive Never Seen Such a Petty Scene before. You really make me change my perspective of you. Dya knoe i used ta respect ya? In like. A Cool Image Kinda?

Buyt Afta That Day. Gosh. You Make me Feel so Freaking disappointed. You dont havta tell me That she is upset Over Whoever lah. I knoe She was Upset. Buyt I just Kept quiet. Knoe Why? I wanna See How you Handle things. Dude. You suck at it.

Gosh & I dont blame her for being insecure. Cause ya. Girls. I understand her feeling. Ya said it yourself.
Buyt listen up lah :
Girls wouldnt ACT that way if you give her th security.
Where is yours?
Why does she felt that way.
i am also confuse. Buyt maybe its cause of th way you treated her?
Dude, I maybe 16, Buyt I AM SMART.

whatever lahh.. update later. Loveya Kitties!

Sora sky!

Todays Adventure. (^^)

2010-06-24T00:00:00.001+08:00

Dear Kitties,
Today has been a great day! hahahs, Went out with Sasa & Syed.
Hahahs. So i woke up at 9++. Dhen Talked ta Sasa's mom. she allow sasa ta go out, Dhen Goyt readyy Then Went out, That was when Papadearh told me that Mamadearh left her handphone so i had ta make a detour. Went out ta give mamadearh her hp DHEN went ta sasa house.

Reach there, Make her up. dhen talk ta her family fer awhile. Nice family. (^.^)
Dhen Went out. Met Syed at Bedok Inter. Dhen Laughed out way ta Orchard.
Went ta Wak honey house, Puyt my stuff dhen went back out.

Went ta Cineleisure, Bought th Tickets,we watched;
"she's out of my league"
Freaking FUHNNNY. Buyt noyt worth watching at th Movie.

Dhen Afta bought da tickets, Went ta eat at KFC. hahahs. NICE NICE ^^
dhen at 4:40 + went up Then Bought Poppycorns. Dhen watched th movie.

FUHN.

Dhen , Afta dhat sasa wanta buy Capo, I know. Yup we Love Out guitar,
Dhen went ta Yamaha at Plaza Singapura. Met with Abg Shafyq & his Lovely Gf.
Dhen me and Sasa Went off, with Syed.

Thanks fer th advice Syed. Buyt I NEVER had ANY intentions Ta do what ya say i was gonna Do, Its disgusting. Buyt yeah. Thanks^^

So. Thats how my day went.

I reached th House ,
so i was bored ta stiff. dhen called Sasa. Then someone called sasa so i puyt down th phone and played guitar.

Yup! ^^ I LOVE my GUITAR. =)
Yep!
sooo.. Gtg. I logged off first yeah?

Sora Sky.

Sorry. Hahas. Just. Bored.

2010-06-19T22:39:00.001+08:00

"Oh how am i? fine fine. Single Life is great! yeah. yeah yeaaaah."
*bored tone*

What th fuck lah kan.
Just Go ahead and smile at life when its giving you an ass.

Kinda am very bored ta th maximum.
Reading comics Buyt Noyt that Concentrated on it.

Songs arent allowed at night. & I am seriously.
Freakin Lonely.

Hahahs. Yeap.

So. Yeah. I have a random topic again.

Lets just say, You meet this new Guy.
And He is VERY kind when you ARE friends.

You like him when You were friends.

&& He Likes YOU! yayness!

BUYT! thats when th nightmare starts. slowly.
you see his true colours.
(which isnt that colourful)

&& people starts ta comment on ya.

Oh how ugly you are. Noy suitable Fer him.

Buyt. You still like him, Buyt as days pass.
You see more of him that you dont wish ta see.

SO you know th "you" was me.

I mean. Ta know a guy's Weakness is something i can handle.
Buyt to know a guys bad habits.

That. is.another.issue.

Cause.
I cant stand someone who talks big!
buyt never prove ta what he said.
I geyt VERY irritated. &
Luckily he WAS my Bf, Or else, i mightve challenge him up ta a fight.

Seriously.

If you know that you cant handle something. dont be boastful.
Just shut up and suck it up,

Like haziq said. Right Ziq?

At first. I kinda dont wanna say things like this.
Buyt maybe afta putting this i might move on easy?

Cause you are giving me a hard tyme.
When im playing guitar, i see you

When im singing, I remembered you.

When i m doin half th things. IM THINKING OF YOU.

whyyyyyy???

Haiyooooo...
I thought its gonna ened when its over, Seems that it goyt bigger.

Shoooooo.

hahhas, JOKE.

i kinda feel VERY weary of home nowadays.

Mama is seriously PMS-ing EVERYDAY.

something is bothering me. What did i do now?

I dunoo lahh * shrugged off*

I Have seriously ZERO APPEAL

ZERO Appearance

&&
Fcuk i HAVE ZERO EVERYTHING.

so how?

i also dunoo. haiishhh..

Sora is SO noyt feeling th courage she is feeling just 10 minutes ago.

Syah Sora Outta.

ToDaYs Adventure!

2010-06-19T22:23:00.001+08:00

-Today Was Great!
Sasa Came over. Had Fuhn With Her.!

We Laugh AND laugh! Recording Videos!

Hahah!

And Took Pictures! We took lotsa Pictures!

HAHAHHAH! Seriously. Though, Mama made me sad buyt im okay! i have great friends. So i wont worry much!

Friends Like Sasa is SO hard ta find. ! So I will make sure i WONT make her Mad! hahahs!!

She always made me smile. Even though im very sad, Ever hardship I went through since Sec 3, I went with her. She helped me through it, Always smiling with me! And she is honest too. Thanks Sa. For making me Happy ! ^^

On th other hand, I am Sad.

Cause of Mama, And cause of Him.

I dont know why. I missed him.

For th first tyme when i broke up with someone, I feel VERY sad.

Buyt i cannot go back. No.

He hurt me enough, Always making things difficult for me. Always making me picking up h pieces.

So why?

haiishhh.. I seriously speechless with myself. Always liking th wrong one.

Stupid stupid.

I miss him. Seriously. Buyt Neh! Im strong.

Strong person shouldnt be stuck in th past, i must move forward.

To th future.

Though full of uncertainty.

I will Make sure that Every day,

I live ta it ta th fullest!

So. WATCH me!

SYAH SORA! New Name FOR New ADVENTURE!

Cause Life's like that!

Syah Sora. Outta!

Its Over.

2010-06-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

I knoe you won't anyway. n dher first place you dhun even bothered, so what makes me think dhat you will now?
Don't Lie ta yourself anymore. Dhis thing is nothing. We are just wasting our time. Cause if it meant something it wont come to dhis.

Whatever you say OR do. I will Still Stick ta what i believe in.

Dude. ITS over.

2010-06-14T19:45:00.000+08:00

So Dearies Kitties,
Today has been a wonderful Day. Cause. I have been doin nothin. Yup! Wonderful.!Oh! before you GEYT too Disappointed I Do have a TOPIC to Talk about, Its A Good Topic.
I just hope that you all Would. I meant Wont Judge it by just what i wrote. Listen ta yer heart and then yer Talk Tag ayye?

CHANG!!!! So. Question. What if One Day you Have A New Boyfriend? Okay, So one day you DECIDE that you will be HAPPY with this DUDE. && Imagine th pain if, ALL th Ex'es Come and PUYT hurtful comments on yer Boyfriend's Wall. Buyt Before you DECIDE lets just read this ayye?

Yes. Number ONE. You already know that when he was with his EX he has other "friends" who is "considerate" enough ta let him touch them.
Two! You Know this all BUYT you decide that you will still TRUST him. HEY ! people CHange RIGHT?
THREE. BEFORE anything!. You were heartbroken and He was there ta help ya thru it. So, Lets say ya thnk that this is being that, You are FATED with each other.
You are utterly AND ridiculously stubborn.

SO. This is th situation. Whats th Solution? I duhnno myself. Buyt this is what i think i might do.

I might Slap My Bfs Face. Hmm. Yup I would do That.
And I might Just Be Suspicious of Him, Which will lead to Distrust Which will Lead To unhappiness WHICH will lead ta breakoff.

So ladies. If you Have A Heart. DO Noyt End Other's Fairytales. Ayye? Just Let Em Be.
Cause What they are doin is their own life. Their Own Mistakes. Let EM Learn By themselves.

No one gets Cushion Fer Life. Th Sooner Yer Lean. Th Better.

Thanks! If you Have ANY other suggestion, DO TaG!

Loves! sora!

im dorkee.

2010-06-12T21:04:00.001+08:00

Yes Yes Yes. Imma DORK GEEK NERD

Whatever you wanna call me. Yes.

Its Cause I Love A Character From A Manga RYYTE?

Wait, What? I Am Lame Now?. Gosh!

Well Ta All Due Respect ( or whatever you say it)

I am ANYTHING buyt LAME.

I have a LIFE & I HATE TA BE CALLED A LAME!

cause as far as im concern. im talking & i hear yer talk.

Does Lame Person DO that?

No? Ryte. So Shut up!

Thanks!

SO yeah. Okays.

I have been reading a manga called

["Maid Sama!"]

yep. it does have a "!". Its kinda cool STORY.

yeap. buyt th character that i fell inlove with is called USUI TAKUMI

Usui aint exactly a gentlemen.

buyt he passes as one!

He is kind and generous ta th one that he loves.

He is Patient AND Giving ta th one that he loves.

He Makes Sure that He don't embarrass himself infront of th one he loves.

He Dont talk much cause he knows he aint worth listening too. [Which is noyt exactly th situation.]

He just dont talk cause he have nothing ta say.

He love ta tease. Ta joke.ONLY ta th one he LOVES. & also Ta Make th person he loves smile.

OMGEEE.

isnt that like.. Like.. Isnt that Like.....

EVERY GIRLS PRINCE!

i know im a dorkee.

Buyt im glad im one. atleast Even though he dosent EXISTS in real world.

One can do nothing buyt hope ryyte?

So im hoping that one day i will find my prince.

yup yup.

Why am i so brave writing this?

He aint reading this. hahahs. he aint.

Im smiling cause i know im trying.

I Am Inlove With Usui Takumi!

cause he proves that noyt all guys are jerks.

And also. He proves that, Comic chracter are wayyyyy off rated.

cause none of th human guys will do what they do.

Sacrificing some of their pride just so their girls smile.

Making Sure that their girl is proud of em, Proving ta their girl that they are STARS!

Making sure that no other guys make a hit on their girl.

Yup. No human guys bothers.

ryte?

sure im ryte.

hahah!

so. yeah.. wanna see USUI?!!?! hahahs okays!

*.*

Yes. That him! so HIM!

hahahs! Th Kawaiiineess!!!!!!! HAHAHS this is SO goin in my hp! ahahhahs! =3

Nope. They are noyt making love. Nope.

USUI is making a LOVE bite SO that MISAKI ( th girl )

will noyt go out clad in bikini.

SEEE!!!! Hahahs!

And because he said that, only he is allowed ta see her pretty! EXCUSE ME.

guys nowadays, they dont care if you come out in clown suit. They look at you and off you go!

hahahs! nah, they will bother, its cause you are embarrassing them.

And if you are pretty they wont compliment you. they just show you off ta th crowds.

Buyt no. noyt th guys in MANGA. They are selfish. Just th way ALL girls like it.

SORA~

Random thoughts.

2010-06-11T22:59:00.005+08:00

( LOVE ME! ahahhas! recently. I think that im FUGLY. buyt still i love myself. :)

Dear kitties.

So, My wallet is empty AND my heart is too..

Well thats life..

Yoosh! I just READ chapter 40 of Maid SAMA! hahahs im enjoying it like YEAH!

So . . . .Last few days. I have been sick. My mouth was filled with ulcers and tears.
It hurts to even talk. EAT. And to just laugh.

Though for my family it just means 5 days of silence. ( heh heh! )

A n y w a y s.

With tahaaat said. I had a hard time NOyt expressing maself.
Honestly. I wanted ta talk. Ya Knoe i love ta talk. Its like my Favourite thang ta do!
Buyt i cant so I just sat in my uncle's room and watched TV.

And Starved myself cause i cnt eat it hurts tooo much.

basically ROTTED at home sweet hell.
Buyt! Yesterday after a whole day with all my loved ONES. .I was in th bus when suddenly i blacked out.

I blacked out as in i cannot see anything. Everything was in patches.

I cant even hear properly i was scared ta death. Hunny said, It was cause i didnt eat .

OMYGEE.

when i reached home, I ate maggie mee..I dont care about th pain. I ate and Ate.

Suddenly my mouth felt better.! and today. I can talk properly WITHOUT hurting myself.

And now. I can eat normally

PSSHT.

i guess meeting with my loved ONES and eating forcefully DOES help. So.

How everything at home? Yosh.

Tis Days, I do feel like punching th crap outta taahaaat didiot.Honestly.

She is always making things worse. ! Get outta my house lah bitch!

Thanks!

Hmmm.. Life has been okay lah.

Hahahs. Contacted with Haziq again.so long i havent talk to someone who really really get it .

Get what my life is about. hahahaa. .Thanks Dude. You dont take me fer granted. Thanks.! ^^

A C T U A L L Y .

well I cant say its all Peaches and Pie. I cannot seem ta get my feelings out honestly.

And lately. I have Been thinking about what REAL gentlemen is about.

yaknoe'

Th guys who would protect ya

Wouldnt do things ta embarass ya

would not lie ta ya

Who is always there when you are upset

OR when you are happy

Th ones who wouldnt say mean things or do mean things ta girls. Yaknoe,

That type of guys. who do not exists anymore

It kinda hurts yaknoe

I wanna look at someone and KNOW that i can depend on em

I wanna be with someone and feel happy

haiishhh when would that be?

cause honestly, th things you do now dude, is making me feel honest ta god, irritated

and i always gets bad comments.what am i supposed to do.?

and i know when im typing this. you aint reading it cause

dude, You just dont read my blog ryte? i mean HE has been reading it. But i guess you cannot be bothered right?.and.....

you make me wanna cry. really. haiish

why is it like this? why is it when i thought i have found th oh perfect ones, i end up getting bruised and yada yada shaddup?

Why cant i just laugh and be happy and My guy would do what he says and meant what he do.WHY?

Why am i fighting this?Is It cause ... cant be.

Cause i Knoe. Me and him? He will never even look at me.

What am i ta ya all?honestly ayye?

I feels so goddamn nothing.

Like pea. I meant its sooooo understatement since im likka bear. buyt I feel really. Noyt at all special.

I feel like Pooo. Add garbage into that. YesThats how i feel.

thankyouverymuch.

EH?

hahahs i kinda drifted off. sorry ayye?

so... thats all i wanna say on this post. noyt that anyone is reading right? hahahs! smile!

Sora! I wished that life isn't that painful and i could tell ya that im honestly happy buyt im not. do you noticed it?

2010-06-07T18:49:00.001+08:00

So . . .

Many things has happened. I don't really have allot of comments on it. Except for Things like how my aunt has changed.

Haiishh.
Can you believe it? Everything has make me into someone cynical. And it adds more to my bitchyness.
Dosent help that im sick and my gum has a tear and i cant eat and im famished!
haiishh!
This is ridiculous! R I D I C U L O U S!
Gettiyt?
Seriously noyt in tha mood for bloggin or talkin right now. Fcuk.
bye!

WTFUCK

2010-06-05T18:07:00.000+08:00

YOU HAVE CHANGED.

Don't Need a Scientist ta figure dhat fer me.

Humphs.

You have turned into such a wimp ya knoe?
Ya knoe , I kinda lost ma respect fer ya.

You make me wanna vommit.

Geyt this my dear dear old role model.

You

Make

Sick.

you changed aloyt.

yeah. update on this more. tomorrow.

sorafeelingfcukedup.

2010-06-03T22:16:00.000+08:00

So . I cannoyt sleep. many things on my mind. you know i should puyt th list? Hahah. Here it is.

I Am having doubts with my Hunny. Haiish. I duhnno. If he thinks that i am being petty. YEs i AM PETTY. taqleh kene sikit. PASAL aku manje. YES. im so sorry that i want you to pamper me. Sorry that i want ya ta respect my friends. ESP girls. SORRY.Buyt if you dont care enough, Why should i kan?
I am thinking that i hate this home. EVERYTHING i do. IS wrong. EVERYTHING. haiishh!
I am also thinking that im fat. & ugly. & it hurts
I am also thinking IF i should choose my friends carefully & start hating th ones that dont matter anymore.
& i am thinking If everything will be alright. Im noyt so sure anymore. everything seems to be out of order. so sick of it. SO sick of everything ! at school at home! I just hate th situatiions they puyt me in.

So Yeah. basically thats what im thinking. Great yeah?

Buyt honestly. I am noyt sure if everything is settled. Im just being so paranoid. Honestly. haiishhh..

Sora.

2010-06-03T22:10:00.001+08:00

And To Naz , I know im kinda bitchy. Yes i am bitchy. Im noyt th best girl around. Ugly and Selfish Good combo huh? buyt its just , its hard for me to trust people's word so easily. I mean, Really. You can say that th mountains moved for me, buyt i wont believe ya if you dont puyt in effort. Sometimes, Before this happened, I thought, It was only me on this relationship. Ya dont seem ta care, Always quiet Waiting for me to make th first move, in th end, its noyt only me , who noticed this attitude of yours. My friends do too. Thats why, one by one they talked ta ya. I never did ask them ta. Cause i know you would feel like imma such an irritant. Buyt honestly, if th words come out from my mouth itself, you would feel th pain.

Th selfishness of my bitchy nature, Get it? Im noyt saying you aint trying, And im noyt saying you aint worth it. Omgee. You are worth my everything, Buyt im olso tired. Tired ta havta think that if i am rude or such when you just easily shoot your mouth ta my friends. th one thing i dont like. i detest th most is guys who are noyt GENTLEMEN. Geyt it?

Im sorry. you wanna know if im okay or noyt. Im putting out everything, Basically, I want you to stop being emo when anything happened, I thought guys are supposed to support girl? YOU HAVTA TALK. i have been saying that countless tymes. Because you dont talk that we are fighting. you want me ta talk so much? here. Im talking. Im sorry if this post hurts ya. I am scared that if i say it ta ya, EVERYTHING BAD will come out.I am also scared. SCARED that if anything happened, It wont be you who is comforting me, dya know, in th past few days, how many people have smsed me? and im noyt saying that they are all girls, AND im also noyt flirting. Buyt its just that they bothered, Ta check on my fb. see what im upto, on my blog. Called me, noyt wait for me ta call em' AND i have told them noyt ta. Call, that is.

Its cause, i WANT you to do it. Ta check on my fb. Ta be pissed when other guys puyt something on my wall . To be pissed When i dont Reply. Hug me when i am sad. haiish, it takes tyme i know it does. im waiting so patiently this past three months, and as tyme flies, i kept asking myself " is this guy kidding me?" .
buyt what happened recently those smses those lyrics, kinda move me bit. buyt we hava long way ta go. seriously freaking long way ta go.

buyt ill be patient, just for you.

I know your reasons, You have been hanging out with guys. YES. Buyt honey, look, If you think i am worth enough. then help me please. Be a bit more sensitive can? especially to those whom i really cared about. help me to make My friends like you. please? thank you.

and i hope that this will be th last time we quarreled, especially, Like this.

thank you.
i cannot go on in this manner. so imma start anew with ya. and i hope this wont happen again. i hate fighting with ya. I hate being so drifted.

its cause. I love You. get it?

I DO,

so please take care of me. please?

SORRANAAZZZ. . (150210)
ill always love you.

2010-06-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

SO guys, Lately, life has been playing an awful lotsa tricks on me.
Tricks that I hate and I am very tired of.

I had a Tiffed With Ma guy,
Though there is lotsa things that i still doubt, i can say anything no more,
im too tired. ya know? & if i keep on goin & thinking, I dont think i can have th energy to face th problems at home.
Ya know, I think i may need a Green letter and deposit myself at th mental institute, Gerek sih?
Im getting more and more insane with everything on my mind.. .
Getting more Paranoid with eveyrthing that has happened . . ..

Th thing is, Ya think that i laugh and smile means im happy, buyt i am noyt okay.I wanna cry, i wanna be angry, i wanna let go of eveyrthing. Buyt i CANNOT.
Why? Cause everyone expects me ta be th type of girl who smile and suchs. Ya know, Im tired. T I R E D.
Tired of doin this alone. Tired of banging my head, And laughing at wrong things.
Thank you Sasa & Rara, For being there for me and TRULY cares how i feel.
You guys make me laugh. & Never seem ta think im causing nothing buyt trouble.
For starters, you guys make me feel so accepted. In our small Circle. Thank you.

And im feeling very lucky ta hav such understanding friends thank you.

Home is a disaster. Just. I hope that now it is resolved, i wont happened again. please.

AND school. haiish........

so yeah.. thanks for reading ^^

Hana

2010-06-03T20:34:00.000+08:00

Dear hana,

Please do noyt be sad? Haiyoo.. its so depressing ta have ya sad, ya know we all love you.

And im Seriously sorry if i cannot be there for you, when you needed somebody.

I never denied that you are a strong lady. Buyt i Also Feel like you have puyt too much things on your shoulders dear. Its high time that you stop doing that, Because you are making US all worried and when i said US, you should know who.

You SHOULD know that true friends don't sigh when you call to tell em' problems, AND honestly. Nobody that you cared about have ever did that have they? its cause you are someone precious.

Though you may be VERY VICIOUS, We still love you. I still Love you though you scolded me aloyta tyme. (AND hana, Im noyt a lesbian, I HAVE NO IDEA why people think so. I AM SO STRAIGHT.)

Hahah! i may noyt Be th bestest around, Buyt i will give you th upmost 1000000000% attention if you ask for a listening ear, Because we are friends, what are friends for ryte?

So, SMILE dearh, Cause when you smile, Th world is brighter.

The sun is shinier.

AND PEOPLE around ya geyt infected by it!

hahahs!

I LOVE YOU HANA, MY WIFEY!

AND NO I AM NOYT A LES OKAY!

ahahahs! just ta make it clear!

SORA!

2010-05-29T20:03:00.001+08:00

Haiyoooooooo~~~

DAMN PISSED OFF.

FCUk bye!

2010-05-29T18:44:00.001+08:00

Dearest Kitties!

so yeah, imma blog about somethin..

I realized something, My mamadearh may noyt be th bestest mama around.

Buyt i realized that , she has her own problems too. .

Something that i was too selfish to see. And When something in my family happened,

I saw how helpless and tired she looked, tears just rolled down,

i saw her laughing buyt i knew deep inside,

Deep inside, she has things in her mind, i know she is crying inside.

See that and i started to feel very Sad,

And i cry.

She ALways mkes me feel worthless.

buuyt i realized its cause, she is feeling much more worthless than anyone out here ,

im sorry mamadearh. i will be better! i love you mamadearh.

And please, To th person who is reading this,

i know what you mean,

I knew that you think that i deserve better,

and you think that you can help me.

buyt im sorry,

i may noyt have you now, buyt i have people who loves me,

Yeah , what you say may be true, yeah he may never treat me like th way you do. .

I know. . Buyt if he decides to treat me bad, or if he dont care, i DO. you see.

I know you think im stupid, im stupid.. yes im stupid Buyt. he gives me something that you dont. he give me something that you can never be able to match, He gives me Dreams, And he makes me feel like this world is worth giving a try.

Yes, he may noyt be able to be like how you were, I felt love when im with you yes, Buyt that was AGES ago. *sighs* I made a mistake by telling you how i felt and now you think that im falling out with him. im sorry for doing that. im sorry for making you think that you have th chance to make me smile.

Dude, Im ugly, you can find even prettier girls. You dont lose anything. Buyt im Trying to Noyt make th same mistakes th same ones i made when im with ya. Im sorry. Buyt I cannot keep in contact any longer. So here this post is what you get , Th last words fer ya dude. Be happy ayye. its over, ayee?

Im sorry to th person involved. And im sorry to hurt anyone. I m a bitch , i never deny that. EVERH.

Its just things have been hard. And i need someone who understands me . And he Was th closest. I didnt wanna make things bad. im sorry. I dont think Sasa knw about this. I dont think Anyone of my friends knows about this. Better tell em'before its too late.

Erms. Its just one phonecall and nothing else.

so boy dont be trippin yourself. ayye?

Fcuk. If only th other he acted like he cares, If only th other he acted like we are something.

Please lah.

Dont make me feel so alone .

Whats th point of being with ya thenn?

Please. ?

Never Meant to invoke th past.Im sorry people.

Now i really feel like i wanna end everything.

Allah, give me strength.please?

sora. sora.

2010-05-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

Heyloo Kitties ,
So, Hows life? Nice , great , fuhn? Haiyoo. mines noyt all that lahh. .
Been shagged this few days, Though i do not know th Definite reason why.
Just sometimes i feel so useless , And sometimes, I feel very vexed for no absolute reason, PMS? Maybe so . .
Other than that, i duhnno.

So I wana thank these kind souls,
Fiona , MeiQi, Yue ning, Anna, Rara, Mateen, && because i was very angry, I only see th people that are shouting and shoving hahah!
And i wanna thank
Sasa, You are th greastest friend ever , thank you!
Rara, You another one! hahas! life is great with both of you!
&&
Those who readily came when help is needed.
thank you very much ayye? I LOVE YOU ALL to bits and pieces! =)
And words cannot describe my happiness , because God made me realize What great friends i have, And i should be thankful. Thank you My dear friends! thank you!
XoXo, sora th klutz.

To Rara D'Elle

Dear Rara,

i wanna say sorry for what happened to you Ra, I am sad that all th sad things are showering down on you, Because you Deserve better & you deserve th best, Your laughs, your jokes, you are far from nonsensical,

because you are th person that always, always makes us smile, no matter how bad th situation is,

you deserve someone that appreciate you , for who you are, For your flaws & your lack Of anything

(You're noyt lacking of anything de!)

Noyt someone who takes advantage of yourself. I know things may be falling apart , buyt your wonderlicious friends are here, we are always here.If You have anything to cry on, you have Gerl Gerl, Sasa , Me, && Many many more!

SO, Ra, it hurts me when i see you sad. when i see you cry,because th tears do noyt belong there, on your face,

Th one that should stay on your face is that,pretty smile.

I dont want to hear you saying things that hurt yourself, instead i wanna hear you laugh .Makes stupid jokes, like mr loba loba.

Be th person that everyone loves, noyt th person that only ONE person loves.

We love you RARA,

I love you.

Sasa loves you

Gerl gerl Loves you.

Every each and one of ya friends love you. you will have better person in th future, someone who really considers your feelings.Someone who would love you despite anything.because thats what you deserve Ra.

Nothing. Nothing buyt th best!

SO here i end with

I M P O S S I B L E

IS NOTHING

be happy and leyt out your feelings. dont keep it in. cause,

You are noyt alone baybeh!

De, Kiterh sayang kau de!

XoXo SORA th kLuTz^^

2010-05-22T16:56:00.001+08:00

2010-05-21T20:01:00.000+08:00

Dear kitties!

Hehe! Long tyme i havent post using that tagline above hehe! so dearest, past few days has been confusing and depressing for me!

Haisshh.. i duhnn know how to face mamadear . .

and what to say to papadear . .

FCUK. I HATE THIS HOME!

Woii gilerh peyy pompan.

Dah bagos tuh i forgive everything tht you pauto about me! kanina!

Kau saperh sak?

Dah bagos aku respect kau enough to noyt call you names! AND

you BITCH about me?

EH !

sungguh polite yerh kau!

SUNGGUH SUNGGUH

polite!

thanks yeah?

You Are a SPECK to me dearh and if i want to. .

I can treat ya like one.

Buyt i gave a mind to you,

Cause whatever you work as,EVEN AS A MAID,

You are still human.

And You have feelings. .

SO spare some thoughts for me too CHIBAI

Kanina besar peyy siak peyy babi!

Siak peyy pompan, bbl step manerh peyy manerh!~

You know what.

you want me to be tht bitch

Oh i will so be that bitch ..

Just dont beg mamadearh to FIRE you

Your live are as good as hell now ayye?

So, to you: MY MAID.

I say, FCUK OFF,

no more respect for you

cause you neva respect me.

Yeah?

an eye for an eye bitch.

so long sucker!

Okay, SO leave it as that and move one to my week.! -_-

I have Been very displace in my world. i don't know what is in my mind half th time. AND i hurt dearh friends and so ons.

I also feel very alone even though i am surrounded by happy people.

I think th ilness has cling onto me.

what illness?

Paranoid, ALWAYS paranoid.

Fcuk, I wished my family didnt have this, Why should it be passed on to me? ;)

joke lah!

hahahs!

listening to eminem now.

Oh i vandalised my table. wanna see?

heheh!!!

love sora!

2010-05-20T21:51:00.000+08:00

To dear Mateen,
I am sorry to have ta Explode like that to you. I was just being irritated by my own emotions. I know That I am being a biatch. Thats th thing, i have been keeping some things to myself hunny, because some things arent meant to be told. And I also feel very empty now a days, I have a few Questions that ought to be answered, buyt I don't want to create conflict between anyone. .

Mateen, thank you for caring, just writing this so that you know that i appreciate you as a friend, i know how you hate being unappreciated. Thank You for being a good friend and is always caring for me. I don't deserve any thing, emotion from you because it seems that i am hurting you. Im sorry

You should know how low i am with myself, i always am like this, And there is a reason for it. And th person whom i love th most isnt even asking, so why should i make known of everything in me?
Yes, I am being petty. I know. And i am sorry. Buyt, This is who i am.

People who is reading this, if you don't like me being this way, just go away, i don't need any sympathy or Whatsoever. .

Thank you. dear friend.

Sora

2010-05-14T23:05:00.000+08:00

This is one of th sweetest things Naz did,

And seriously, Hahas.. He is SO cute!! ~~~ honestly . .

Here , He Said ;
I ♥ SORA.
HEHEHEH!! He Loves Me!

WEHMOOO!!!

♥

Here He Said ;

SORA = MINE!!!

Heheh

Then i asked ;

Seriously?

He answered ;

Yes syg.

Dear Kitties.

So today . What i did was,

Wake up early, Went to school alone because Naz had no exams,

Then , Reached school with wei nan. Wuahahha . . he can entertain me cause we both were bored .

Then went to meet my loverhs ZuCinerH , RaRa, Zaza, & Dada.Buyt Only Zu & Zaza was there,

I received th shocking news. And im still shocked.

Went in th school.Went up th hall.

Took th freaking hard exam.Then ,

Finished, meet sasa and mateen at th canteen,

They actually have no exams, they came so that we can slack.

So meet Naz outside school.

me Sasa Naz & mateen sat under th block.

I acted like a spoiled brat. i know.Buyt i cannoyt help it syg. seriously..

Quack Quack,

SO , Went pff to slack.

RaRa Me Sasa & Naz & Mateen,

Lepak with th people under th blk. then Rara went home. Then sasa and me decided to change place.

Then changed, that was when mateen talked to Naz.

Oh before that! mateen puyt recorder, i didnt know, when i see his hp, i realised he as recording me && Naz, because they were at fitness corner && wanna see if me and naz talked or noyt.

Mateen you are creative && ILoveYouToTheCoreAyyE?

And Sasa, thank you for understanding. i couldnt ask for a better friend cause you are the greatest.

Then Me && NAz talked.

Then Slack again.

Then went home. talked to mamad, then went on line browse browse. . && SO here i am.

Happy cause me & Naz talked things out. ANd i hope it will work.

I love you Syg.

i will try.

SoRa Th kLuTz.

P/s: So sa. Is this non wordy enough for you, Sa?

Make sure i will noyt make th mistake.. pls..

2010-05-09T20:47:00.001+08:00

SO just now went outing! GOD it was FUHN! hahahs! We laugh&laugh&laugh!
SO i wore My Kinda like dress with my vest and th Band around my head with my make up and jeans and school shoe.. Yes school shoe.. Cause i have no going out shoe.. ANAK jahat lah kann..

So yeahs.. went out penniless.. Thanks ma.. you make me feel special..
So . . .. .

met MY sayang at jurong east and talk till city hall.. HoNESTLY.. i love you so much ; even when im sad just now.. when im with you i just . . . focused on you cause that what you are doing to me. you are running around my mind.. arent you tired dear? && i just dont care about anything in my mind.. bby.. Thank you so much for being with me ^^

So.. reached at City hall Go buy water , bandung and regretted.. it tasted like MILK.. and i meant th milk you mix MILO..
SHYTAKE!! hahhas! _I_!!
So.. Yeah.. waited for sasa buyt in th end we kinda havta fetch her and we walk through th rain.. laugh & laugh !!
Then reached at PENIN, Go buy sasa's guitar string adn afta that we go play our guitar..
Sweet sweet allah!
Hahas.. whilst playing zombie, there is this pakcik who came and talk to us say tha twe play nice buyt gotta change th yada yada yada..
HahaS! WE HOOOO!!!

So then fetched Rashidah.. Laugh till Easplanade.. then went to th underground then played awhile then Go eat.. sasa blanje me..

Sorry ayye,
I only took sasa money cause i know that you also have less. hope you duhn get offended.. ^^

SO.. afta that went outside esplanade and played our hearts out! hahahs! so fuhn!!!

So went home at 4..
Then me &shidah & naz laughed till autram?( i still cant spell that!)
then me & Naz Sat..
hahhs
I love you.. seriously.. you make me feel nervous just by holding my hand .. Honestly..
hahahs. aisyah step jek cool muke mcm taqderh paperh. hahahs. . padahal my heart feel like poppin out,

LOVE YOU MY FRIENDS! & NAZ!

sora sora!

2010-05-08T22:31:00.000+08:00

Shut up.

Just Go..

Seriously...

this is stupid. .

Im Sorry Ma..

2010-05-08T20:31:00.001+08:00

"♥ I know , I know that Everything happens for a reason . .Buyt it sucks . . If All i havta do is. . Stop Being Me && Make You Happy By Being who you Want me To Be, You scared you will geyt Embarassed Of me By being me? i will change . . just so that my mistakes will noyt be repeated. . ILoveYou & I know that you Love Me to.. Who wouldnt Love their Daughter? right?"

I hate to have to Do this.. Buyt im crying..

Nobody notice it even though they kept looking at me...

Nice one yeah?

Dearh baby brother mateen Told me.. "every mother love her child"Define "Love"?
Define for me please?Am i so BAD? Am i Such a Embarrassment to you?
Even if i do something that i did wih all my might.. Isnt that enough for you?
Im emotional? Yes, I am . . Of course i am , Who wouldnt? Ive been alone..in my childhood..
You said that atleast i was at a care of people who loves me... Really? Is it true that they all love me?
Because I remembered me taking care of my ownself, I remembered Most of th things that happened for that five years.. how people called me a troublemaker, because you were one.. How i will be a failure because you were one.. How i am such a bitch.. because of what you did.. How they hate me.. How they wish they wouldnt have to take care of me.. How my parents sucked ... How i was beaten.. how i was treated.. how everyone always give me th dirty looks.. How Bad those years were.. How EVERYTHING that happend in that years Made Me Fucking Hard to TRUST every words that people say.. How those years made me skeptical in everything kind things people do.. How those years turns me into a Person with a shell.. how i realised that People cannoyt love another person child, because of course.. who would? Especially A child who is always expected to fail..
&& How i am a troublesome person who duhn hava place in the world..

You wouldnt know that would you? because me.. Im sucha failure..
Im noyting like kak fathin.. im noyting like yvonne.. Im noyting...
thank you.. you made me feel very special..
really very..

i duhn mind being highlighted..
buyt by th way you say it.. that made me.. that made me speechless..
Why dont you love me like how you love kak fathin?
you asked me why i can take Ibu's Highlighting sessions?
Well maybe its cause you highlight me by using words like,
"shame" & "why cant you be"
&& always comparing me with Everybody else..

Arent i good enough for you?
sucha shame arent i?
sucha idioyt for always wanting acceptions that in th end, you smack me right on th face with you words.. SO hurtfull that i just duhnno what to say.. i was speechless...
You never hear what people say about me. . you only hear what i did wrong.. Why?
You Expect me to GIVE in?
I have give in For ALL my life &&
when i start to have MY Life,
When i start to DECIDE..
When i START to LOVE...
you ask me to give in again?

Im spoiled? IM SPOILED?
Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?Spoiled?

gosh people.. im spoiled.. really? when i neva noticed..
SPOILED?
this is noyt spoiled.. this is saying whats inside my heart which i have been keeping for a long bloody long time.. SPOILED? what th hell did you know about spoiled? For always getting my way?
If i have my way.. i would be HAPPY..
LOOK AT ME MA! do i look happy to you? DO i? Do i? DO I??

Spoiled? like what shooting my mouth like a bloody potter?
god ma.. if i really could say what i really want. this blog woulnt exists would it?

My tonation? You mean i havta sit back and do what people want to do to me?
DIDNT i DO enough of that FOR the PAST of my life???
DIDNT I?!?!??!?!?!?!?

ISNT IT enough of every thing that you had made me go through? Of all th tears?
I thought after you take care of me.. Things will geyt better.. Guessed im wrong.. stupid me.. th person i shouldnt have trusted with my heart. Th person who i shouldnt love.. Th person who I shouldnt Hoped for.. WAS YOU..

I was stupid for being a little girl.. For wishing every night that god should protect you because only with you i am very happy because you are my mama. and i know you will love me heartfully. . .Buyt that was when i was 9 , 10 , 11 , 12 years old..
when i was 8.. I forgoyt what you did. ,
i decided that you were changed when i was 9.. I thought that your arms were where i belonged..
You made me a bad person.. you did. . .

Since im sucha failure to you.. then .. forgive me..
Because im just going to disappoint you more..
Im different ma. Ive had always been..
I know what you are goin to say
that you know me
Do you?
you?
Know me? Heh.
Are you very sure??.. Cause..
Because i duhn think so... If you really do
know me, your daughter.. you will stop hurting me.
and start loving me.. and stop saying things that will always make

Me.. me.. a useless person to you..
to stop making me feel like im a pointless girl..
please. . . .
thank you

sora. sora

SORA;
It means that i am finding my heaven.
When will that be?
im noyt sure.. buyt definately noyt now..

tehy are my family and i protect my family so please...

2010-05-06T21:05:00.001+08:00

SO today was Mother Tongue..
I did BAD.. FUllstop :]
And Had A great Day with Ma Loverhs!

Sasa FREAKSHERR

RARA D'ELLE

Mateen

Zu CIneRh!

NazReeN RockSTaRRh

Zaza Kiddo

Dada SHAWTIE..

Are my family...

I will noyt survive this world without em' . . .

And i will do anything to protect them,

I won't forgive people who hurts them Deeply. . .

AND that Includes you TAUFIQ.

What gives you th right to say all those things to Rara?

What makes you think that we believe what you say about Sasa?

your dadday read your msg?

kau ingat kiterh DI berenakkan smlm?

Kiterh pon aderh otak . .

Dngr2 Msg yang berbulan lepas tuh dadday kau bacerh,

skrg baru naq take actions?

We.Are.Noyt.STUPID.

Granted , Rara Said vulgar to you first,

tapikan,

Saperh start dulu?

Kau ckp sasa kurang ajar? kayt mommay kau?

just cause she said that she didnt want anyone to interfere?

itu bukan kurang ajar..

ke kau yang fikir tuh kurang ajar, jadi kau sembarang bobal jek?

check up yourself yeah dude?

ive enough of everything..

you have no rights to say to rara to shut up!

Yelah.. btl jgak eh..

Who th hell i am ta scold you . . .

Buyt Dude..

WE did try to help you..

Tapi kau yang taq naq berubah.. Sedih kan?

Semue efforts yang we have put in..

kau waste it like that..

Aku yang paling tersedih..

seriously..

Sasa just include us..

her friends..

kau include family kau semue..

taq sedih ke raserh hati sasa?

kau uat dierh mcm.. kene benci gytu...

haiishh..

Fiq..

We all did our parts.. and sometimes.

our part is noyt enuff..

im noyt saying im happy with what is goin on too..

Mcm kau..

I will feel like shyt if someone i love does this to me..

Buyt kau taqleh take actions yang boleh buat org lain terlibat..

taq sedih ke kau lau aku maki khai?

then aku suroh kakak aku maki khai untok aku?

KAKAK taw

bukan kwn..

merepek kan?

haiishh.. i seriously dah speechless.

and honestly fiq..

I didnt Expect this from you..

Sasa taq pentingkan diri sendiri Fiq..

If she did.

She will have scandal..

Tapi taq..

she decided to be honest with you

And Tell you that she has no more feelings..

Its Noyt unnatural..

aku hope kau paham..

and please Fiq..

Jangan buat kiterh org mengamok..

aku seriously taq leh take it yang kau bbl ngan rara VEry like noyt gentlemen. . .

aku terperanjat

honestly..

so...

da lah fiQ..

aku sorry aku taq leh tolong lagy and aku taqnak tolong lagy

stakat gyni jek uhs..

buyt that doesnt giive you th right to be rude to my family..

which is th ones listed above

so..

besok.. aku taq kan masok camporh.. unless kau kurang ajar..

okae?

Oh &&

sasa bukan pengecot..

sorry kay..

i know sasa...

She didnt want to meet you because she didnt want to hurt both of you ,

because dierh taq naq dengan kau..

and lau dierh naq pohn fiq..

she wants it to be honest relationship

a relationship yang says that

she really love you

buyt now..

haiishh..

im sorry uhs..

honestly..

aku taq naq masok camporh . .

tapi what you said to Rara smlm

To sasa TOday..

too much . . .

& you are th one who is supposed to be a gentlemen..

mcm gyni kerh fiq?

taqleh kawan ke kiterh semue?

haiishh..

da lah,

aku harap kau paham lah sikit kay?

i hope this is noyt rude.. seriously...

Sora!

I LoVe It WhEn I LoOk At YoU AnD yOuRe AlReAdY LoOkiNg @ mE! ^^

2010-05-03T21:59:00.001+08:00

Dear Kitties..

so.. Now im ready to Blog.. I have My Mind Back..

My Babyboy Just smsed me. ! ^^

I missed him so much.. hahahs!

I was talking to Sasa when he sms-ed.

I was like,

"Wait Sasa, maybe my boyfriend"'

&& it WAS him!

hahhaS! Then i cudnt concentrate,

Still, I continued to talk to sasa..

Hahahs.. until she havta puyt down th phone.

So Voila!

here i am.. Sora Th KLuTz,

Smiling to herself And listening to love songs that i used to think was stupid

because NOW i can relate to th song , to th only guy that i love

who is Nazreen

So.. Honestly .. . today isnt that great..
because of angels that lepak under my block buyt i refuse TO listen to em'
Cause i am who i am.. and i seriously duhn care whatcha ma say about me..
because Kitties and Cats Out there,
th only opinion that matters is from my loverhs..
SRADZ
MATEEN
NAZREEN

Hehehehe,
SO.. Yeaps =)
I send mamad to skul,
Had fuhn lah with him basically,
Goyt home, Then Cik rose was at home.
Hahhas, we all realised from just now that,
Hazrin knows how to act! He was Sucha ANGEL with Cik ROSE!
hahahs! CUTE lah!
Memang DASARH anak Siti Hartini..

So yeahhs..
Then take care of Hazrin.. HAHAS! so cute!!
then Eat..
Then continue to take care of hazrin..
Then.. Rearrange my stuffs,
Then Sit dwn and stare at hazrin sleep.
AT 6 logged on th comp..

browse here and there..
Then Sasa logged on fer awhile,
then she called me, Then Sayang msged me..
Then yeaps,
Im bloggin now!
hahahs!

SO yeahs.
I realised something afta 3 days at home..

SORA is NOYT made for HOME ;
I missed everyone.. and im glad that Tomorrow im schooling..
I cannot STAY at home Fer SO long..
Im so not cut up with home..

haiishh,
And i miss him,
Afta what happened today..
wif th idioyts from under th void deck..
I was thinkin, What specialities that he sees in me?
So i found a quote that describe HOW i feel..
LIKE YEAH!
hahas,
wait honest im noyt joking,
Im scared to lose him
buyt i duhn him to feel like he NEEDS to stay when he does noyt hav ta,

What happened between Taufiq and Sasa..
Scares me..
i never feel like this before..
So insecure and SO downright Scared..
Of losing someone...
Im noyt lying..

im torned..
hahhs. please say something lehs?
haiish,
Iloveyounazreen
&&
EVERY molecules AND cells in my body AGREES with that
cause' they HAVE been Over Reacting,
everytyme you are near..
( and i used to think that, that was impossible )

Haiishhhh.. HONESTLY shagged..

So kitties.. due to my pathetic state of Stupidity..

I am sure you all want to know what happened with th kids under th void deck?

guess what?

Im noyt gonna tell ya..

Haiish..

Im happy and yet sad..

Angry but calm

insecure Buyt feeling like im loved.

what th hell sora?

What th hell?

another joke? Guy from up there?

are you giving me a joke?

Oh cause im loving it! hahahs

you pulled my heart out and puyt it in and sewed it VERY uglily..

THANK YOU!

a nice joke you hva been giving me..

i appreciates it allots!

-_-'

I know there is karma for this..

buyt what th hell kan?

im noyt sure about anything anymore..

Karma pohn Karma lah..

PENAT!

soralovesallofyoukitties! ;)

SO RANDOM

2010-05-03T20:12:00.001+08:00

See that Picture up there? Th one tht says
Girl: Whatca doing right now?

Yeahs.. hahahs.. I ever Ask him that. And he answered.. Something like th guy answered.. Hahahs!
All my entries Must always say his name! hahahs!

I searched for that picture for so long.. In th end! My hard work paid off and IM PROUD of it! YES i am!
Hahahahs..
AND I changed th PICT! hahah I figured that myself..
( This sounds SO childish! )

Okayys.. So cut th Crap..

I miss my Loverhs In school..

Seriously lying i am noyt....

Sittin at home can make me crazy..

Sittin at home WITHOUT sms ing him?

Oh this is driving me NUTCASE!!!!

Oh seriously? seriously!

I gotta stop that,

seriously? seriously!

crap! hahahs

i watched Private Practice.

Influence!

wakakaka!

Oh haiish, kitties...

Why do i feel so low now?

haiishhh STUPYD STUPYD

kiwekk lahh!

mutherFisher~~

peyy pompan kayt bwh blk! Sedarlah diri kamu sebelom kamu disedarkan

Kau pohn HUMAN bodoh peh pompan

GRRRRRRR!!!!

haishhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~

feels like crying.. seriously..

i wanna cry

Blog laterh..

Missing My Syang. . ..

miss you like crazyy..

SO Its Just Sunday.. Fish It. . ..

2010-05-03T00:04:00.000+08:00

Ive always hate holidays.. Yeah i know why would i hate it?

I have Three Main reasons..

Number One ;

i am far far away from my Loves ones at school..

Like S.R.A.D.Z

Mateen

Nazreen....

Number Two ;

Im bored stiff.. STIFF.. like i cannot do anything..

cannot make noise.. Cannot play with adiks..

Cannot study. . .

Cannot Cannot Cannot

How bout cannot breath?

Nice much?

Number Three ;

I AM SERIOUSLY SERIOUSLY

missing MISSING MY NAZREEN!!!

AND SASA

AND i even MISS th GIDDYDAMN

Toilets AT skul!!

SO kitties,

I hate holidays.. Hahhas. . . this aint weird. . .this goes out for th people who cannot meet th people they love..And That goes out to me!

Dont get me wrong i do love my family buyt they are just so SERIOUSLY irritating.. EVEN th MAID is more important then me! Haiish..

Seriously? SERIOUSLY.... And honestly.. im sick and tired of this... SICK and tired of home.. I wanna get out from here.. its like prison.. SERIOUSLY.. A PRISON.. all th stupid irritating WARDENS.. WHO cooks NICE things when Their VIPs are coming.. HONESTLY? honestly....

Maybe i should consider a. . . a . . . . kids change Programme? let someone else suffer? Buyt hell.. They only do this... Mama Take care of other people's kids more better.. Look at how she take care of kak fateen.. Ohonestly.. its boiling my blood! BOILING MY MUTHERFUCKIN blood! (pardon my language!)

Am i th step daughter? did they switch me for someone else's daughter? HOENSTLY....

Shit lah.. AKu pohn penat sakit.. Taqderh pon korang panick.. ? ERGH!

Kay so.. Lets be POSITIVE!

hahahs! have some ++ In your head ayye sora? cause you're gonna meet your loverhs this tuesday aite? JUST one more day and you can laugh it out with your loverhs..

Oh shagged.. Sasa taqleh kol.. My honey tomorrow Goin johore. and i havta take care of hazrin.. That lovely baby... OH SHAGGED.. SHAGGGGGGGG!!!! GOD. . .. god... god......

PooOOOO this is a BIG chunk OF POOOO..

seriously? SERIOUSLY?

SHIT lah...

this is BY far TH most FUNNIEST joke ALLAH gave me.. Thank you!

Uhmmm. . . .. . soo.. lets talk bout my VERY boring DAY ayye?

Start at 9:18,

I woke up and a few minutes laterh my honey msg me..

"morning syg"

so that alone made my morning..

Rolled all over th bed and smile to my phone...

Seriously? i did that.. hahahs...

i played guitar then watched GLEE!

Then bathed

then ate sandwhich (cheese)

while th Prince and Th princess

ATE roti prata And rice with whatever lah..

Then, quarelled with my father..

Oh gawd uncle.. Grow up...

Then. .. went to my aunt house..

Went to cut my hair that dosent show any difference...

obtain perfumes there..

Then Go home..

Sasa called.. and i got pissed off with dear taufiq..

then.. Go logged on...

changed my blog skin

and Voila! here SOra is!

Buyt i receive a msg from my honey that made me smile so wide..

I just missed him day by day..

(even if it is 3 days but STILL!)

And love him more.. as each moments passed..

SO i kept complaining that i was bored..

So in th end he sent me

"how bored are u?"

Then i replied " very"

The he replied,

"haha.. well dont be so bored...

coz no matter hw distant we are

ill b there in ur heart"

OMG!!!!

hahahs!!!!!!!!

LOVE YOU NAZREEN!!!!

gtg! most more tomorrow kittes! tata!

Im bored.. Oh so bored...

2010-05-01T22:07:00.001+08:00

Dearh Kitties..
           I miss My Sasa Rara Dada And Zaza.. I miss Nazreen.. I miss I miss Hanging out with them.. And it is just on Saturday..
           Was Freaking RANDOM lahh.. Haiyooo...

Shuhsh.. I am Very Moody now a days.. Wanna know why? Hahahs.. I cannot tell! shh.. **
        Hmmm.. Buyt im always so happy that my loves are with me..

I love you all taw! (SRADZ and NAZ and MATEEN and ZU)

you are all my rainbow.. in my darkest days.. You light up my life.. I love And LOVE you all to bits and pieces..

i got you.. Even if i am whole or noyt.. Even if i am Sick or healthy.. I know that i will always have you all..

And that alone makes me happy to wake up in th morning...

since my family duhn treat me as one..

you are all my family..

Always will be. in my heart..

Love you all taw!

remember !
sora So KlUTz!

2010-04-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

SHITAKE MUSHROOM LAH SANDAL!
YOU ARE SO FULL OF BULL POOOPIE!
YOU KNOW THAT????
KE NA SEPAK!
MENGAMOK SIAK AKU . . .. . . .

NO MOOD TO BLOG GO && DIE LAH DAT IDIOT..
SO.. kitties.. ill update another tyme ayye?

{♥}

2010-04-29T22:25:00.002+08:00

Dear Kitties! (meow!)

So yeah.. I have been CONSTANTLY talkin bout My DUDE

( who is SLEEPY && is GOIN to SLEEP now..)

Humm.. i Was so inspired by What is around me.. I made a song For th AFrican Children.. And since I kinda goyt everything && my beloved Sasa && Naz has also know their parts, So imma gonna post th Vid.. IF i hav th tyme..

So now. imma Gonna post my Lyrics. Made SPECIALLY for my {♥}

Cause he is th only on ein my heart! =)

I L Y!

So i made this by myself.. Title : My {♥}

♥♥ ; I look up at the sky

&& I saw a Rainbow SHining Thru'

I just Cant forget th Day

When We confessed our loves.

Boy Duncha know That

I am Very Depended

On th Fact That

You Are Mine.

Chorus;

So Please tell me that i am worth your tyme,

Cause' i Don't Know if what I'm doin is ryte.

I love you && i need you,

now ive told you my weakness.

Cause baby, i fall Inlove with you

Without Any will Or any might

Cause you, by being you is what makes me,

Falling more deeply for you

* ; You, smile at me, even if th world is crowded

I will only see you

Your laughs Sends my spirit Flying

And i cant focus on anything

I am very happy to be around you

You are th only person that made me believe in fairytales,

buyt,

I dun need A glass slipper, a one true kiss, or a golden carriage

All i need is your hand in mine

We will walk thru' this..

Repeat Chorus.

Ohh..

I cant tell if my heart is with you

buyt all i know is

your heart is with me..

im yours cause you are mine..

Repeat Chorus And ♥♥

So, yeah.. Basically.. thats all..

Me && sasa are doin abit of magic to it..

Like what we all did for

"dear butterfly" ( my first song abt african children)

So yeah!

Hope you all will See more of me workies!

Love Love Love!

SoraSora!

Oh and today was average.. Haiish..!

Love you SRADZ and ZU and MATEEN and NAZREEN!

2010-04-29T21:16:00.001+08:00

You are MY rainbow!

~N A Z R E E N~

Magic Magic Magic.. Never Exists.. Its your hard work lah babi!

2010-04-28T22:42:00.001+08:00

Hahah! Okay so...

&& IM TOO TIRED to POST ANYTHING..
BUYT BUYT!!!
I took th mrt with NAZ && had SOO much FUHN!!

I love you honey!!
HAHAHS!
Really i do.. no joking! =) you mke me laugh even when i had A BAD headache!
hehehehs! seriously!!

so was thinking bout that thing above !! ^ . . . . . . .

p a r a n o i d

Yes i am. . . .

SO.. haiish i JUST summarise lah!

Hahahs.. so today is wednesday..

Woke up abit late..
SO...
Was late for th first bus then got th second one.. Reached under th block meet my loverhs!
then Naz forget his bag buyt i didnt know until we reach th skul gate cause i was reading GLEE! book That mateen bought..
SO then go class I goyt big headache buyt nvr mind.. i think i can pass th SS test..
Then ,
maths.. i couldnt concentrate cause of my Headache..
Then Chemistry..
Hahahs!! i just copied what th teacher said. . .

So.. ReCeSs...

Afta reCesS.. I laugh laugh..
then goyt into class i kinda had a spinning thingy goin on..
SO i ran to th toilet
Vomit :)
Then Physic.. I didnt know what th hell was goin on..
Then CCT.. SERIOUSLY had a HEADCHE so didnt do anything...

Then Rest..
Goyt headache.. Nasib naz aderh He made me smile.. iloveyouhunny..
And My beloved SRADZ and ZU..
And adorable MATEEN!
hahahs!
SO i went for ORAL..
I aced... ( i think )

Then.. Afta that go back home..

SO yeahs summarised!

Love ya! ttyl!

LOVE you NAZREEN , SASA, RARA, AISYAH(me!) , DADA, ZAZA , ZU CINERH, MATEEN, !!

please be mine always!
hahahs!

okay my day my day my sky my clouds.. shit its raining...

2010-04-27T21:52:00.001+08:00

HEHEHEH!!! I DO LOVE YOU!!

Okays.. I gotta stop doin this.. EVERY post i have must puyt his name..

Why arh?

I oso duhnno..

MEREPEK uhs kau sora!

malas aku naq layan!

So dear kitties,

today was a rather pissed + i - knew-that - was - gonna - happen! + WHEW! + Heheheh+ I really love him more+ I STUDIED! + TIRING + HEAD ACHING Day..

Honestly.. so lemme start with my Feelings!

I was pissed BECAUSE , there was alot of problems left unsolved and sora hates that! I duhn like feeling like there is something left behind my head.. Buyt now, th people whom i helped feels like im doin them a favour..

SO TO you SORA says ;

SORA is doin this so that SORA and her

BE loveddd

FRIENDS and FAMILY

can live in peace..

Sora hates enemies yeah.. Buyt if i duhnn consider you as a friend..

ill just consider you as a schoolmate that i helped..

thats all..

buyt if you are sora's friend then,

sora is just doin you a favour that sora duhn wana any returns ayye?

cause sora is sincere in what sora did..

And S.R.A.D.Z

is my onlie family in school....

So sora is talking to th

"friends"

that backstabbed us..

is because sora just wants our problems to end..

Noyt cause Sora is a hypocrite..

Hope you understand Sora's intentions..

Sora love you all..

And I just wanna do what i can to make things easy again..

So that we can laugh without thinking liike There is something that is left unsolved.

And please..
Im just a human so to you those that ive helped..

Duhn take advantage of my help..

And yeah.. you can talk to me..

i forgive easy and may laugh with you

buyt i wont be as close as we were before

because what you throw to me, may splat on my face,

I can wipe.. Buyt i can still feel..

And what mistakes i did..
I will always learn..

SO i may talk to you like normal..

Buyt i wont trust you or anything..

REMEMBER...

You All are just schoolmates to me..

ACQUAINTANCE;

It means , i do know you, Buyt we are not particularly friends..

And i am noyt backstabbing my friends for you..

So, duhn feel too special yet ayye?

unless i promised you to keep it at that..

i will keep it at that..

Like Rana ; no worries.. no trouble if you duhn find trouble akkay?

And

Rashidah ; Just duhn drama.. we okay alreadyy...

AND to th bitches ;

YOU Wanna PIECE of me?

Come on bitch i welcome you!

Hahahs..
Okayy.. SO Yeah.. Things are happenings..
yeah i may talked to Rana and Rashidah As per normal..
Buyt im noyt friends with them..
Just hi bye..
Maybe sometimes.. I wont say hi anymore..
                                                           And yeah you may say i am hypocrite..
                                                 Well im noyt! Hypocrites means that i talk bad about th other person
                                       And still be friends..
FOR EXAMPLE ;
I talked to rana about S.R.A.D.Z THEN, i talked to S.R.A.D.Z about rana.. THAT is HYPOCRITE
All i do is.. i talked to Rana and still at th same tyme tell S.R.A.D.Z what i did so to ensure Th problems is Solved..
And yeah..
Okay fine.
i wont talk to rana OR rashidah anymore.. SO lets leave it at that and MOVE on!

i - knew-that - was - gonna - happen! was because Cikgu Kiterh yang kesyangan MARAH, , you!
Uh uh! Betol! Takoyt i!
Eh please lah.. penat seyy dngr orang pekik teriak,
We Give , you win.
Or maybe noyt cause honestly.. i duhn care anymore about your lectures.. since you , yourself aint giving anything.. Haiish!

SO i know that she was gonna geyt REAL mad when i kepy complaining.. First because she was shouting infront of me so i went " saye ngah pening cikgu pekik pekik" then she Changed my seat, next to Naz.. Hahas! I know FATE!

Then, she started lecture bit by bit..

THEN i gave ABIT of COMMENT she started shoutingt o th WHOLE class!
Like whoa!

typical much?

WHEW! was because i was really TIREED out!
HONESTLY!

Thats all for YELLOW!

hahahs

Heheheh , was !!!

HAHAHAHAS!!
I finally know what Rana MEANT by ;
"aisyah SHOULD be thankful that it was cause of me SHE and NAZ is togeddE!"

I was like, WHAT bull poopies she talking lah?
Then i started thinking.. MAybe she forced naz?
Then i was REALLY REALLY paranoid..
AND THEN... i started getting Like "what ifs!" in my head..
THEN i ended up getting HEADACHE.. and HEart pain..

Haishh kesian sasa kenerh dengar kan! hahahs! aku sayang kau lah gylerh peyy SASA!! thanks yeah!

Okay so i may noyt believe rana 100% fully.. buyt that is all i afford to believe , bacause i didnt really wanna stress my self out.. So i just believed her.. i know i know.. i know.. im just stupid.. buyt i just wanna believe that he likes me because of me and noyt because someone FORCE him too.. Buyt since Rana Said that.. I believe her.. Naive coward i am.. Buyt im okay with that.. atleast on this topic..

I really love him more
Is Because! He can really teach me maths! AND I DID UNDERSTAND!
OH goash!hahahS! And ahahahhas!! i just love him more day by day! =)

I STUDIED!
I DID! granted.. it was ABIT but I STUDIED maths! OH golly!HAHAHAHSS!!!
i really wanna pass Nlevels!
SERIOUS poop!
HAHAHS i wanna be Like.. th first to go POLYTECHNIC!
AND be th FIRST Designer that made it big in LA from SINGAPORE!
Like SOraCLoudS!YUP!

HahahS!!! I seriously LOVE to design, AND SING and WRITE LYRICS and Play my GUITAR and DRAW and WRITE and READ and Wait... didja know any jobs that pays you when you read? hahah! stop poop talking!

TIRING + HEAD ACHING

I was sick.. =) Yup kittens.. i was..
Seriously headache buut i kept smiling.. esp at my brilliant boyfie! hahahs!
EARLY in th morning already make me smile!

HAHAHS!! and S.R.A.D.Z also.. Except Dada taq dtg..
you all made my day just by laughing and talking to me.. I love you all taw!
ADDED Zucinerh!

LOVE ya all to bits and pieces!

HAHAHS.. so i wanna conclude that, imma gonna sto pmy bool pooops talk before it gets worse!

oh and im listening to my boyfie playing his guitar..
Love him? HELL YEAH!

hahahs!!

SoraSOra CLouDz!

2010-04-24T22:05:00.000+08:00

Heyloos Kitties...

Im currently missing my bbysyg, editting pictures, chatting with bbysyg

&& listening to him play his guitar!

Hahahs.. free music!

I love hearing him play his guitar!

HaaHaaa...
I hate weekends && Oliedays..
Know why know why?
cause i dun like my home..
Nasib mamad aderh.. hahas! =)
mmhmmm...

So anyways..
i cleaned up my room && make up && took photos && play guitar && make new songs
&& play th COMP && smsed my sayang Just th whole day.. so pratically i did nothing much.. I did nothing much. . .

Really Really....

SOOOO lets talk about......... hahahhaS!!!
i actually duhnno what to talk about.. kay lah kitties.. i go first ayye? i wanna chat with my syang! love ya all kitties!

TOODLES!!

To you my BbyBOY!

2010-04-23T23:25:00.001+08:00

Yepp.. That is what I thought,

Buyt , Even after a week of PMS and Scolding people without reasons,

After two month of my craziness, Attitude problems, And Awkward moments,

I think that We are more closer now..

I do know that this relationship had taken th most of my tyme and energy

And i never regret ever using that..

Cause' He is worth my tyme.. Worth My energy..

Because.. I just love to be with him.. I loike..

Because after alot of mistakes

( which i am prone to make more in th future)

Liking Guys and realising that they are noyt what i am looking for NOW..

(which means NOW at my teenage years)

I realise that NOW..I want a guy like him..

(yes i am emphasizing th 'NOW' because this is my teenage years..

Maybe it will change in th future.. && please.. I am just a teen!

SO maybe.. NOW when im still childish and NOYT supposed to BE inLOVE,

BUT FOR NOW... </B.)

He is;

a guy that wont just say things to make me feel better,

He is a guy that always HAVE crazy side,

Never Intrude when i am angry,

And never comment whenever i am angry,

Always giving me funny faces, when im looked at him..

I always caught him looking at me..

Especially when he is playing his guitar

(YES syg.. I SAW.. )

And Always DO things that cracks me up..

&& yes.. We are goin slow then what i have gone thru..

Buyyt i find th pace more calming and noyt rushiing..

Though i always wants th guy to make th first move

I learned to give and take. I wont take be impatient with his pace,

Cause we are walking slowly together

I really never imagined that he will really love

AISYAH

I mean.. Whats there to like,Let alone love about me?

Im impatient,

Sometimes unreasonable,

Easily angered,

Always make jokes that hurt people..

Always find things that are noyt funny: funny...

Always so bluntly honest.

Always VERY sarcastic..

I am MEAN.. I know i am..

EVERY (insertyourself) who was with me says i am . . .

Thats why i am puzzled..

He didnt seem to be angry at me once.. During our two months..

WE never quarrelled.. NOYT even once during our two months

He must be a good actor ,

Or a godwammit Patient guy..

or he just dont care..

I duhnn noe..

Hahahs.. I decide to do this entry..

TO let go of my feelings that i am VERY shy to tell him FACE to FACE...

Duhhno why ..

I cannot talk straight to him LOOKING into his eyes..

Either i look into his eyes and stop at my sentence

I will look away to talk..

EVEN when i am with my friends and all..

I just duhnn want him to look at me when i make funny faces..

so i turn away..

HE WILL SIT BESIDE ME & LOOK at ME..

kinda.. embarrassed, Buyyt kinda happy that

He wanna pay attention at what i am talking about..

&& when i listen to songs.. I will just see his face..

(Th most favourite is when he is playing his guitar.. he will give this fierce face that

I SOOOOOOO LOVEEEEE!!!!)

And yeah.. There are DISLIKES..

Buyt thats normal. you cant LOVE EVERYTHING about a person..

Can you?

Buyt thats human right?

To have LIKES and DISLIKES about a person?

Hahhas.. im noyt sure..

heh heh heh heh.. ★

PS: && to those people who " care " Thank you for your kind compliments.. buyt me and naz.. ARE happy This way.. ( errhh.. atleast i am..) I duhn Care whatcha ma say about me.. Cause HONESTLY..

I duhn givva pooopie.. no one is perfect.. no couple is perfect so duhn judge us please.. :)

This is US you either take it or leave it..
BUYT please DONT ever Talk about how me && hym arent compatible..
I know better than to hear you talk
Yet. it still hurts..
Ohs! buyt in th end.. he still loves me! =)

To you my dear boyfie .. I love you gilerh babi!
Hahahs! ngah tido Ye syg?
Hahahs i hope you duhn mind this post! hahahs..
( i know you duhn, im just saying it, like i always am "just saying it" )

This is FOR you dearh, My one and onlie..

Thank you for everything..

Thank you for being patient and constantly standing by me

( && by that i meant literally & emotionally)

I appreciate you for who you are.

Aint nothing about you i wanna change

(well hahahs... Get rid of th glasses..)

And I LOVE YOU baby.. FOREVER..

(on second thought, DONT get rid of those glasses... You looked kinda hot without em')

(laterh i aderh "competition", heheh)

15:february:2010

you are my beloved♥